03/06/2022
The Letter of a Broken Heart Ex- Wife:
As we go through divorce, heartbreak, separation we don’t say or express our feelings. At times there are things that can trigger emotions, open wounds that we think we have healed, but you really aren’t ready to move forward and are afraid to date. You lose all emotion, feelings or even the courage to even venture the dating world. As I move into my new house a chapter closes and a new chapter begins.
This what I wrote to my ex-husband.
Because regardless of everything you did let me go. You just wanted me to stay married to you and didn't want to work anything. The constant excuses of you working on yourself or finding yourself. Or whatever s**t you made up. You never wanted to be with me. You said you love me but in the end. I did love you with all my heart. I loved you. I had 2 kids with you. You never cared, what I wanted from you in the beginning all you did was lie to me. Lied to me whenever I told you I wanted you to be part of the kids' life. You promised you will always be there for the kids and be with me. We would work things out no matter what. You rather just choose someone else in the end.
You never wanted a family, you just didn't want to be by yourself, you are selfish and that's what you have. I keep enjoying my life with our kids as a single parent, without a dad that doesn't want to be part of their life because they have a father that rather be single and not have the responsibility of being part of his kid's life. Just a come and go because it's easier. A father that doesn't want to face problems or solve them but runs away, when things get hard.
As I am moving out of the house. I know it's the last house we bought together, we chose together. We went through hard times and our marriage ended. I know it's the end of our chapter. I know you have probably moved on, it's affected me greatly this move because it's moving wounds that I thought I had healed. But getting rid of everything we owned together, has been a punch to my stomach. Because regardless of where you are in your life, I still love you but I know you will never want me. No matter what, or how successful I am, I'll never be the woman you want. Regardless of what I do.
You didn't keep your promise. Your promise to work things out regardless.
To never get divorced. You preferred breaking our family with alcohol, s*x, and affairs! You chose that on top of everything else. Our family!
Regardless of everything that happened in our marriage, I didn't want to give up on us. I wanted to love you I wanted to stay married to you, I wanted to spend my life with you. I wanted to grow old with you. Because regardless of what happened in the past, you were the man that I wanted to spend my life with the man I chose to have kids the man that was always there for us. No matter what, you never gave up. When I said I do, I was crazy in love with you, regardless of the years, you were the only man I wanted to be with. The only man I wanted to spend my life with.
I am happy we have our kids because they are the ones that keep me moving forward and making sure that I keep the promise I kept you to never give up.
I really hope you have kids one day with someone that you can keep your promise of never walking away. I hope the woman that you are with, falls in love with you and never lets you go. I hope you do the same. I hope you enjoy your life and grow old with her. I hope you don't ever break her heart like you destroyed mine. I hope the kids you have never have live in a broken home like ours do. I hope you can always be there for them and see them grow to develop a relationship with them that you are proud of them and them of calling you, dad.
As for me, I will be there for our kids on a daily basis regardless of what happens, I promise them I will never miss an important event little big or small. A birthday, a trip, a word, a funny joke or a laugh, a nightmare a fear, a sad day at school. A happy or an achievement.
I hope you don't ever miss that with the family you have in your next marriage. I hope you treat your future wife with love, respect, and admiration. I hope you never cheat on her and I hope you can always communicate regardless of what is going on in your life. I hope you have only eyes for her and only her. I hope you will love her like you haven't loved any other woman. I hope you see yourself in love and spending your life with her for the rest of your life regardless of what happens in each other lives. Being for one another.
Overall, I am grateful for having you as part of my life for the time you did. I am grateful for knowing what love was and happiness. Knowing that I could love someone like crazy, enjoying and being able to trust for the time we did. To enjoy every little thing we did together as it may not had seem I did at times. For the times that I wanted to strangle you, but I could never leave your side because deep down you were the one that I wanted to spend my life with and never give up but the one I couldn't imagine my life without. The one I grew with, regardless of how things went down, I knew I could always have a safe place with you. No matter how things were we always made things work regardless of how difficult it was. We always pulled through. Every day you came home my face lit up because you came home to me. I enjoyed giving you a kiss a hug and smelling your smell of jet fuel. It made me happy cooking for you, baking your pineapple upside-down cake. I loved traveling with you, I loved going grocery shopping, the times we went to target. The small little things. The times you wrote me letters and cards, that meant the world to me. I know that every word didn't mean a thing, but it was just the fact that you took your time. Making believe that you would never leave, the fact and that you made me believe that you would always be there for us. That we would always be a family. Your support meant everything to me, you being there along the way through the time you were meant so much. I know it was so hard for me to trust you and be able to depend on you because I thought you would leave. That I would one day become replaceable and one day you would just move on to the best thing. I had the fantasy that we would be able to overcome everything. I still remember that last day you left that was the last day before you left for South Korea, I didn't want to let you go I wanted you to stay, I wanted to go with you. I knew we would make it work because I thought we were a strong couple that could overcome everything and anything. The distance and meeting someone new phased you away from me. You forgot how much I loved you, even though our fights were petty, I didn't look at another man until you broke my heart.
I guess with this, I have learned that I am still healing and I still love you regardless of everything. I know what true love is and what loving someone and not having them love you the same way is.
Someday, I will love again. I do wish you all the happiness in the world. I love you.
Your Ex-wife
