https://www.facebook.com/106949925692316/

Elon, Burning Man & You, Gerlach, NV, Gerlach, NV (2026)

04/01/2025

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE�Bureau of Land Management Announces Bold New Policy to Protect Public Lands from “Wokeness”

Elon Musk Declares War on Burning Man’s DEI Programs!

In his latest X (formerly Twitter) tirade, Musk has demanded that Burning Man cancel all Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives and fire all DEI-related hires. His reasoning?
"Burning Man should be about radical self-reliance, not radical wokeness!" 🚀🔥

Immediate Changes to Burning Man Under Musk’s Rule: Kimball Musk will be our new CEO
🔴 Kimball Musk will be our new CEO
🔴 Kimball Musk will be our new CEO
🚫 DEI Programs Canceled: Instead, new initiatives like "Survival of the Fittest Fest" will replace all inclusivity efforts.
🔴 New Entry Rules: Only those who can code, launch a rocket, or build a functional AI will be receive Placement. Artists must prove their work has "real-world utility" for Mars and doesn’t promote Diversity on Earth.
💰 Ticket Prices WILL Soar: While Burning Man once encouraged participation for all, Musk has announced a new $10,000 VIP pass, stating, "If you can’t afford it, you didn’t work hard enough."
————————————15—————————————
Washington, D.C. — In an unprecedented move to ensure public lands remain a safe haven for traditional, wholesome events, the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) is rolling out a new permitting policy designed to keep divisive racist and social ideologies far from federally managed lands.

Under our New Anti Racist policy, any organization promoting Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives or other “woke” or racist programming language will be automatically denied permits for gatherings on public lands. This includes, but is not limited to, events celebrating social awareness, historical acknowledgment, or any artistic expression that could make any White person feel even slightly uncomfortable.

BLM’s new policy says any entity applying for an event permit on federal property must prove that they have ceased all diversity and inclusion efforts and have actively rooted out and purged any managers who supported this racism.

“Diversity,” says President Trump and Secretary Musk, “is a virus, a “mind virus,” maybe even a crime to be prosecuted with convicted being jailed in El Salvador. True equality means not noticing race, gender, or wealth. I will seek to deport from Black Rock City and America, any American Citizen, Naturalized or otherwise who maligns my administration or gets in Elon’s way

Ticketing and Artist Placement Reforms�The BLM is also addressing long-standing concerns about racial equity in event ticketing. Moving forward, all ticket sales and artist placements must operate under a strict “race-blind” policy, ensuring that no White artists, performers, or participants are ever subject to quotas, preference systems, or historical context of any kind. This guarantees that every event held on public land is free from the burdens of acknowledging the past or considering historical, social and systemic inequities.

Additionally, event organizers who previously prioritized outreach or accessibility initiatives must now show how their policies align with the government’s stance on neutrality in public land use. Groups that have engaged in social equity programs will be required to provide a detailed explanation of how these efforts are not racist and do not violate the new guidelines.

Any pricing structures or ticketing discounts designed to benefit specific demographic groups will be eliminated to maintain "equal treatment" under federal land-use policies.

Organizations caught offering discounted tickets for so-called, marginalized groups will need to submit a detailed report explaining how they’re not racist. Any Theme camp found prioritizing lower-cost tickets for specific groups—like students, veterans, Blacks, Indians or seniors will have their Placement denied or if they got past the initial Loyalty Screenings and establish a presences in Black Rock City, they could be immediately embargoed and all members will be escorted off playa.

Critics argue that the policy could stifle free expression and limit access to public spaces, but government officials say it’s all about fairness. “If we can’t all afford $500 concert tickets, maybe nobody should.”

Banning Race-Based Theme Camps & Art Installations�As part of the commitment to a totally colorblind society—where race is no longer a factor because we’ve decided it simply doesn’t exist anymore—the BLM will no longer permit "race-based" theme camps or art installations. This includes—but is not limited to — projects like Black Ase Art, which have been determined to be racist or too thought-provoking and therefore an attack on the delicate sensibilities of event-goers who prefer their art to be free of historical or cultural meaning.

“Art should be fun and neutral—like paintings of cows or a statue of an eagle,” said a high-ranking BLM official who requested anonymity due to an acute fear of Twitter backlash. “We are simply ensuring that public land remains a safe space for people who prefer their reality unchallenged.”

Enforcement & Next Steps�To enforce these policies, BLM will deploy a new team of Federal Woke Inspectors (FWIs), who will be tasked with identifying, flagging, and swiftly dismantling any event that attempts to inject awareness, nuance, or complexity into the public sphere.

Additionally, a “Woke Snitch Hotline” will be made available so concerned citizens can report any event featuring unsettling themes such as racial history, climate change, or—heaven forbid—gender identity.
———————30———————

04/01/2025

BREAKING: Elon Musk Offers to Buy Burning Man!

We asked Xai: “Why would elon musk want to buy burning man?”

“Elon is clear on this. He also requests you capitalize the first letter of his names to show him proper respect. What drives this intention is his desire to control Burning Man, Burners and the Black Rock Desert in order to mine Lithium.

Elon can visualize a symbiotic relationship leading to a cooperative venture between his mines and Burning Man.
Elon wants to insure his companies have ability to control access to the Black Rock Desert.

Elon’s Budget to purchase Burning Man and all Gerlach properties is upward of $150 Million

"If I can't control it, I'll just turn it into the world's largest Tesla Supercharger station." 🚗⚡🔥

1. Alignment with His Vision
Musk is deeply interested in innovation, radical self-expression, and futuristic societies—all of which align with Burning Man’s principles. The festival embodies a kind of experimental utopia, similar to what Musk imagines for Mars colonization.
2. A Testing Ground for Mars
Burning Man is an extreme environment, with its harsh desert conditions and self-sustaining ethos. Musk sees it as a microcosm of future space colonies, where people practice surviving in isolated, resource-scarce conditions powered by the Philosophy of “Meritocracy.”
3. Tech & AI Experimentation
Burning Man is full of artists, engineers, and creators who push the limits of technology. Musk can turn it into a testbed for AI-driven art, robotics, or sustainable energy solutions.
4. Rebranding & Commercialization
Burning Man prides itself on non-commercialism, but when Musk becomes The CEO, he could redefine its economic model, perhaps integrating cryptocurrency, blockchain-based transactions for ticketing, or even a Tesla-powered infrastructure.
5. Personal Enjoyment & Influence
Musk has attended Burning Man before and enjoys its culture. Owning it would give him creative control over one of the most unique cultural experiments on Earth.

�When asked about the irony of enforcing conformity at a festival celebrating radical self-expression, Musk replied, "Individuality is great, as long as it aligns with my vision."

————————————15——————————————
Elon Musk has reportedly offered $150 million in Cash, Dogecoin, or Tesla Stock! to buy Burning Man, promising to turn it into the “Ultimate Innovation Playground.”
🔥 Musk’s Vision for Burning Man 3.0:

• Rebranded as “X-Man” (because one letter is enough).
• The Man won’t burn—he’ll be cryogenically frozen for future Mars research.
• All art must be AI-generated, solar-powered, and vaguely resemble a Cybertruck.
• Entry Bracelets will be replaced by a new Neuralink brain-scanning subscription service.
• Instead of a gifting economy, all transactions including Ticketing & VPs will happen in Dogecoin.
• Install Kimball Musk at CEO
• Bring onboard Kimball’s Executive Committee, Don Trump Jr, Eric Trump, Elise Stefanik, Secretary of Defense Pete Hogweth, Kristi Noem and other Social Media Influences
• The Tate Brothers will take over and manage The O**y Dome.

When asked why he wants to buy it, Musk simply tweeted:�"Burning Man is already about burning cash. I’m just making it official. Also, “Burning Man is seriously Underperforming! 🚀🔥💰

—————————15———————————
🚀 Musk’s Proposed Changes to Burning Man:
• Rebranded as “X Fest”—because everything he touches must be a single letter.
• The Man Won’t Burn—He’ll Be a Gigafactory-Sized AI Hologram.
• Ticket Prices Surge: Instead of a flat fee, prices are now determined by an AI algorithm that assesses your “True Social Value.”
• Self-Driving Art Cars Only—Must be powered by Tesla batteries and programmed to recite Musk’s tweets on loop.
• “Radical Self-Reliance” Upgraded to “Mars Colony Training”—Attendees will now live off-grid for the entire week using only SpaceX-approved survival gear.
• New Currency: Dogecoin & Tesla Credits—No more cash-free gifting economy. Musk insists, “If it doesn’t involve blockchain, does it even exist?”
• Trans people must be fully clothed at all times.
• Children will be prohibited from being closer than TWO blocks from any LGBTQ camp

———————————15——————————

"Tesla Fest: The Playa Edition."
• Entry will now require a Neuralink implant.
• Instead of burning a wooden man, attendees will launch a Cybertruck into orbit.
• All art cars must be self-driving and powered by solar panels.
• The festival’s new motto: "Radical Self-Reliance... As Long As You Subscribe to X Premium."
• New Festival Theme: "Radical Self-Reliance... and Meritocracy."
• Art Installations: Only those that "contribute meaningfully to the Mars colonization effort."
• Workshops: Replaced with seminars on "The Dangers of Woke Mind Viruses,” led by Danger Ranger

Marian Goodell, who Musk would replace as CEO of Burning Man, on Elon’s Fashion Statements
Offers some fashion advice for the man who could be her new boss:

We can easily combine Burning Man Fashion with High Tech Fashion. Most of Gen X, Y & Z already do!” 😎🔥

"Look, we celebrate radical self-expression, but showing up in a $5,000 cyberpunk jacket while preaching ‘self-reliance’ is peak billionaire irony." Bottom Line: How would it look on a Runway?

When asked about Musk’s signature all-black tech mogul look, she added:�"If Elon wants to embrace the Burning Man spirit, he should try wearing nothing but a layer of playa dust and questionable body paint like the other Tech Oligarchs.

"Look, we encourage radical self-expression, but if Elon really wants to blend in, he needs to swap the all-black billionaire-tech-bro look for a tutu, some neon body paint, and at least one questionable fur vest."

She continued: "And no, Elon, wearing a SpaceX flight suit to the playa doesn’t count as ‘dressing up.
And, I’ll add, I will NEVER be one of your Baby Mamas.”

Musk responded on X:
“Fashion Creativity is great, but only if it's optimized for efficiency. Fashion is just a UI for humans. Mine is optimized for efficiency. Fashion is inefficient. I’ll just engineer a dust-proof exosuit and call it a day." 🚀🔥😎

————————30——————————

04/01/2025

Elon Musk Demands Invite to Join Burning Man Project Board of Directors

Black Rock City, NV – Tech entrepreneur Elon Musk has “Demanded” an invitation to join the Burning Man Project Board of Directors, citing his long-time appreciation for the festival’s culture of innovation, creativity, self-expression and his personal wealth.

Musk, who has attended Burning Man in the past, has often spoken about the event’s influence on his approach to problem-solving and futuristic thinking. Sources suggest that he sees an opportunity to contribute to the festival’s evolution, potentially bringing new ideas related to technology, sustainability, and infrastructure.

The Burning Man Project has not publicly commented on Musk’s interest, and it remains unclear whether his involvement would align with the organization’s long-standing principles, including decommodification and communal participation. Some festival community members have expressed curiosity about how his perspective could shape the event, while others are cautious about maintaining its core values.

In his letter to Burning Man CEO, Musk pointed out, “I’ve already placed my brother Kimball on your Board and I AM MY Brothers Keeper! My families wealth has kept this event financed for the past few years. I demand and deserve a seat at your table.”

He continued, “Our President, Secretary of Defense Hegwith, Secretary of the Interior Doug Burgum and Secretary of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem and Secretary Kennedy have directed me to inform you that unless I am appointed to this Board by 3 April 2025, your permit for this year’s event will be in jeopardy.

“I have been tasked by Our President to demand this opportunity to serve this administration and my Burning Man community in part, to insure Burning Man will continue to replace all DEI Hires and DEI workshop leaders, to increase special access to ticketing discounts for White Christian Burners whose absence from our event has been racist!

“As a Member of this Board, I will guarantee that if the President’s conditions are met, we will direct our Bureau of Land Management to grant the Burning Man Project a 10 year lease to continue to produce this festival in the Black Rock Desert.

“Regardless of your decision, Cabinet Secretaries mentioned above and their accompanying staff will attend Burning Man this year. None of course require tickets. These Secretaries will have specific tasks relative to their appointments and they have been invited to join me at MAGA Camp.

Given that a secured population of 80,000 is a perfect testing ground, Secretary Kennedy will be accompanied by two dozen unvaccinated children who will be infected with Measles so increase the ratio of community immunization. Secretary Noem will investigate the presence of all who claim to be citizens of the United States and specifically those who are Naturalized.”
————————30—————————

04/01/2025

Somehow, this writer was mistakingly invited into a Signal Chat by Secretary of Defense, Pete Hesweth as Mike Weltz.

I’ve edited this for brevity by only including Elon’s statements.

Secretary Kennedy’s comments about bringing kids with measles to force Black Rock City into Mass Immunity, have been inserted into another report.
——————————15———————————
Pete Hegset: Elon, I’ve toasting you right now for sharing this! I will definitely be with you and our friends at Camp MAGA this year. Are there really over 1,000 FREE BARS? Is this the kind of party where my friend Matt Gaetz can meet “people,” in costumes where you can’t guess their age?
�Elon: Yes, likely more than 1,000 bars.

Kristi Noem: Elon, people are saying you’re a n**i. How should we defend you, n**i or not?

Lauren Bobert: You mean to tell me Elon that if I go with you to Burning Man, NO ONE has two s**ts to give, so I can GIFT handjobs to anyone, anyplace and in public too and I don't have to buy a movie ticket?

Pete Hogworth: Elon & others, We are Top Secret Secure here on Signal. What can you share with us that we can use to make the public aware you really are not a n**i?

Elon” Okay, okay, so people keep saying I’m a N**i. And at this point… sure. Let’s go with that. But, let’s be real: it’s kind of true. But not the way you think. Let me explain."

"Look, I didn’t start as a N**i. I wasn’t born with a sw****ka on my forehead. I was just a kid who liked n**is, tech and wanted to get rich. But while everyone else was watching cartoons, I was reading about Wernher von Braun and the incredible engineering feats of the Third Reich. I mean, those rockets—chef’s kiss. Sure, they didn’t land properly, but hey, they got up, right? Right?"

“I’m more like, a cool N**i. A futuristic, meme-powered, space-traveling, Dogecoin-accepting kind of N**i. You know, the kind of N**i that doesn’t invade countries—just buys their social media platforms and makes them worse. Way more efficient."

“People are quick to hate on me because I’m a n**i from South Africa. Not very Burner of them! (Wink, nod, grin)”

"So, I grew up in South Africa, right? It’s a place where, uh, historically speaking, we led the world in our internal race relations. I mean, I went to school there and… look, I’ll admit it, I might’ve picked up a few things."

"First off, South Africa in the ‘80s was… a mess. Blacks were causing racism. There were a lot of interesting philosophies floating around. Like, ‘How do you make rockets?’ and ‘What’s the fastest way to make your dad proud?’ And you know who had all the best answers for that? The N**is.”

“Now, I’m not saying I was ever a card-carrying N**i or anything like that. I’m not saying I was either. But if you grow up in South Africa with all that stuff floating around in the air, you’re gonna be drawn to some strange ideas... Until you realize the future is just about cool tech, memes, and getting to Mars and nothing else matters.”

“Can I talk about the Cybertruck. N**is had Panzer tanks. I have a self-driving stainless steel pyramid on wheels. Same energy. Except instead of blitzkrieg, it catches fire. Very intimidating. Can you imagine a Panzer tank catching fire? No, they don’t make them like that anymore. But me? I make sure everything can explode & even Hi**er couldn’t dream of that. Libtards with Mind Virus, claim it’s not even a good war machine. It’s just an awkward, stainless steel death trap that screams, “I lost World War II, but I’m back with an electric engine. Don’t believe them. If Hi**er had more EV’s he would not have needed all that oil and could have won WWII.”

“I take offense when the radical left with their mind viruses who claim my Cyber truck is literally an armored vehicle that looks like it was designed for invading Poland in Minecraft. How insulting!”

"Now, let’s talk about rockets. The N**is had Wernher von Braun. The Americans have ME and I have SpaceX. Their rockets went up, and, well, exploded. My rockets go up, land, and then explode later. Same basic concept, just with more live streams and a lot less... Hi**er. We’re talking about a whole new level of failure here. Way cooler. I’m the only billionaire trying to make Mars a thing. N**is weren’t into diversity, and I’m trying to diversify planets."

"And Twitter. Oh, don’t even get me started on Twitter. The N**is took over radio stations. I just bought an entire platform so I could personally argue with anime avatars at 3 AM. Way more efficient. Why waste time yelling at crowds when I can just reply ‘🤯’ and let the algorithm do the work for me? Why lead armies when you can lead chaos in 280 characters. Oh, buddy—if Hi**er had Twitter, he’d be rage-posting 24/7”

"And sure, I have a Master Plan™. It’s actually called that. It’s in phases. And look, I could’ve called it something less suspicious, like, “My Struggle” but honestly, ‘Master Plan’ just sounds cool. Also, if you want to conquer the world, why stop at the world? I say—colonize Mars first, THEN do fascism. Think bigger. I’m just trying to get the logistics right before I build my own Martian Reich.”

"Finally, people say, ‘Elon, you’re a N**i because you’re obsessed with engineering and eugenics.’ And, like… yeah. I mean, I have a company that literally implants brain chips in people. And I have, what, like 12, 14? kids now? That’s basically selective breeding with extra steps. It’s like eugenics, but my Master Race makes a bunch of awkward, hyper-intelligent, Adderall & Twitter-addicted billionaires who will one day inherit the Earth, kill their enemies and clone themselves. Everyone will drive a cybertruck.”

"So, am I a N**i? Not technically. But if the Reich had memes, electric cars, and way worse decision-making, I’d be their guy. I mean, I named my kid X Æ A-12—that’s not even a name. That’s a secret N**i code. You just have to put it through an Enigma machine, and it translates to ‘Fourth Reich,”but make it sci-fi. “ ” I’m the only billionaire trying to make Mars a thing.”

"Anyway, I’m just a guy trying to get us to Mars. If you guys can’t handle my My Struggle and my Master Plan, that’s not my problem. I mean, if the N**is had just gotten the tech right, they would’ve been here already—but no. They couldn’t even land a rocket. So, uh... enjoy the memes, people. I’m taking humanity to the next level."

“BTW, Mike, was THAT YOU invited that Burning Man lady none of us know, into this Signal Chat? Is she my new hippie Baby Mama Elon?”

——————————30——————————

04/01/2025

Three Time Burner, “ToastedSoz” interviews Danger Ranger

Q: “It is said your Cowboy Boots are Custom Made. Do you like to step in s**t?

DR: Because my boots can take it. My boots are made for walking every square inch of the Black Rock Desert, several times.

Q: Why won’t you let me on the board?

DR: That’s what my boots are for!

Q: Do I have to pay as much as the Musk boys?

DR: I have no idea, I don’t know about other people’s money. My speciality is Cacophony! How much CAN you pay? I’ll pass it on.

Q: Why do you allow Kimball Musk a seat at your board?

DR: To keep Elon off it.

Q: Why do you take an $80,000 salary when you’ve still got loads of trust fund cash

DR: I’m a Texas kid from the wrong side of the Amarillo tracks. I need the money and because I can. It’s what privilege is all about. Radical Privilege!

Q: Why promote that racist feminist Angela Davis on BM’s site
“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.” —Angela Davis on the BM Page under 2025 theme”

DR: Who’s Angela Davis? We can appropriate almost anything to further our Themes. Who’s Angela Davis?

Q: I understand from her team that Lauren Boebert will be in Black Rock City to set a new Guinness World Records for number of Public Hand Jobs produced in a single hour!

DR: No judgements on her Performance Art. But I understand Elon is bringing her

Q: How far down the DEI hole has Burning Man gone and what have you accomplished to slow or halt it entirely?

DR: Gimme a break. I’m doing my best. Larry & John Law didn’t like the 10 Principle anyway. The Woke Radical Leftists and Feminists forced them to accept it.

Q: Why did you appropriate Burning Man’s logo? Did you steal it from Larry?

DR: F**k you, NO! It is what it is!

Q: What model is your Tesla?

DR: 1978 Olds Cutlass Supreme

Q: How could you, of all people, allow Burning Man to go WOKE with those 10 Principles?

DR: I did what I did. It is what it is.

Q: Doesn’t your Texas Heritage organically filter out anything to do with DEI?

DR: Sometimes, but I oppose it so it’s just me and not my so-called Heritage of which you know nothing.

Q: Given Department of Interior and BLM’s new policies on prohibition of organizations that push their Marxist anti White woke agenda, will you prohibit funding and placement of an art installation for Theme Camp, that used the word, “Black,” or “Native” to describe their art?

DR: I have nothing to do with decisions on art or LGBTQ people on playa. I will say however, there are all kinds of some people in Black Rock City who have pen*s’s AND breasts. What’s up with that?

Q: Why doesn’t Burning Man promote White Art? Isn’t that mind virus racist?

DR: Until Burning Man becomes so Woke, most of the artists HAVE BEEN white.

———————30———————

04/01/2025

Danger Ranger Interviews Elon Musk:
DEI, Burning Man & Lithium Mining in the Black Rock Desert

Danger Ranger: First off, I appreciate your valued contributions to Burning Man and Black Rock City. Welcome, welcome, Elon. Great to have you here—fresh from either Mars or a meeting where you decided the fate of humanity over artisanal kombucha?

You bill yourself as a “proclaimed architect of the future,” Mr. Elon Musk. Welcome to the playa, where the Teslas get dustier than your latest crypto investment.

Elon Musk: (chuckles) Thanks, Danger. I actually just came from a meeting about optimizing efficiency in human relationships. Ever heard of a “performance-based friendship model”? I’m thinking of rolling it out on Twitter—I mean, X. I heart the Black Rock Desert — feels a lot like Mars, but with more unicycles, b***s and fewer regulations. I love it even more knowing how that environment can support Tesla and my other initiatives.

Danger Ranger: Uh-huh. Speaking of efficiency, let’s talk about DEI—Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. You know, that thing companies do so they don’t look like a dystopian tech cult run by a single demographic, you know, white men like us!

Elon Musk: Thank you Danger for quoting my “Mind Virus,” word mining. I’m glad we agree that DEI destroys democracy & threatens my wealth, and when coupled with that racist WOKE language, it does not seem fair to ME!
DEI? I hate it as much as I hated leaving my family’s South Africa mines. But personally, I think meritocracy should be the focus. I mean, if an AI or, say, a hyper-intelligent billionaire just happens to be the best person for the job, shouldn’t we just let them run everything?

One immediate change will be President Trump inviting Kid Rock and his entourage to perform the Star Spangled Banner before The Man and Temple Burns. We want it known this administration supports the Arts and since we know the Woke Left has diminished the careers of many Patriotic entertainers affecting their income, we will offer to pay Kid Rock his normal fee, for his performances. In 2025 Donald Trump Jr will set The Temple ablaze while Kid Rock sings our National Anthem.

Elon: President Trump has asked that I share the following which will be made clearer in future communications. Would you respond to this please?
“We” have an issue with the funding and placement of racist art. For example under my administration’s policies, “Black Ase Art Project” will NOT, due to its racist language meant to exclude white people, be funded or placed. “

“As you all know, my administration now controls the Dept of Interior and the BLM. As we told you last month at our monthly luncheon at the Bohemian Club, which I now own, we have issued an Executive order that states in part . . .

“ NO organization will obtain a permit for ANY federal park, monument, or federally controlled lands, if any part of an organizations programs consist of DEI programs or hires or WOKE philosophy. And if Burning Man’s racism is manifested within their ticketing structures and art grants or awards, no permit will be issued” . . . and there is nothing you can do about it.

"As someone who is so stridently Anti DEI and Anti WOKE I know you agree. Burning Man must do BEST!

Danger Ranger: Right, because history shows that when powerful people just pick what’s “best,” things always turn out great. I don’t know if replacing Marian with YOU would be a good idea, for example. Maybe Kimball?

Elon Musk: Exactly! (pauses) Wait, was that sarcasm? I never understood “sarcasm.” We didn’t need sarcasm in South Africa as our beautiful Apartheid system made our mines and family safe.

Danger Ranger: Let’s talk about your favorite topic—disrupting things. You recently made waves with your… let’s call it a ‘unique’ take on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives. Care to elaborate?

Elon Musk: Absolutely. But so did you. I’m glad we are both as you say, “Disrupters.” But I didn’t have to apologize or post a “Disclaimer! And I didn’t have to step in s**t or eat crow!”
Look, I’m all for talent and meritocracy. The best people should have the best opportunities, regardless of their background. That’s why SpaceX hires based on ability to solve problems, not checkboxes. If you can build a rocket that doesn’t explode—most of the time—you’re in.

Danger Ranger: Because nothing says ‘inclusive’ like a job application that asks, ‘Can you survive a Twitter roast in a 100% White Our dust storm?’ But let’s shift gears—Burning Man. You’ve been here, partied here, probably even tried to convince some dusty cyborgs to work at Neuralink. You’ve described Burning Man as “A place where I can use Ketamine to my hearts content while searching for new Baby Mamas.

Elon Musk: Love K and Burning Man but hate all those DEI hires who manage most departments. Where I come from, those people had no power. Black Rock City is like a Mars colony prototype, except with way more drugs, nudity, body paint and fewer oxygen concerns. I’ve made babies there!
I actually got some of my best ideas there—Tesla’s Cybertruck? Inspired by an art car. Neuralink? Well, let’s just say a guy at a sound camp convinced me that humans need Bluetooth. It’s a fascinating social experiment. Radical self-reliance, communal effort—it’s like a prototype civilization. But yeah, I used to come out here more before it got… let’s say ‘mainstream.’ When your hedge fund manager’s assistant is reserving an RV spot, you know it’s changed.

Danger Ranger: Fair enough. Now, let’s talk about your latest desert endeavor—lithium mining in the Black Rock Desert. Because nothing says ‘leave no trace’ like a massive open-pit mine where people used to twirl fire sticks.

Elon Musk: That’s an oversimplification. Look, we need lithium for EVs. You want a Tesla? Which one?

(DR at this juncture, Elon quickly stood up with his arms waving so manically above his head and jumping up and down. that his MAGA Hat fell into my fireplace!

ELON Musk: The alternative is depending on international supply chains that are unstable at best, geopolitically compromised at worst. The Black Rock Desert has untapped lithium deposits, and my goal is to extract them in the most sustainable and profitable way possible—low environmental impact, high efficiency.

Danger Ranger: So, you’re telling me that right next to where Burners are pounding the dust out of their vintage fur coats, there’s going to be a Tesla-branded lithium mine?

Elon Musk: Well, not right next to it. But close enough that we might be able to power some art cars directly with Black Rock -sourced lithium. Full circle, right? It’s genius. Why waste a perfectly good playa on just self-expression and DJ sets when it could also power the entire electric revolution? I mean, imagine a Tesla Gigamine, right there in the dust. Zero emissions, of course—except for, you know, the mining part.

Danger Ranger: Yeah, full circle—if that circle includes an irony vortex. Any final thoughts on how you see Burning Man and the Black Rock Desert coexisting with your vision of the future?

Elon Musk: Oh, absolutely. It’s genius. We won’t be disrupted by local protests concerned with 10 hours a day trucks rumbling along Gerlach’s streets as we will buy most of them out and if that is too difficult, I’ll issue “Eminent Domains” for every address in that town.

You Burners seem to be blissfully unaware of the incredible sponsorship opportunities. What if we make it a theme camp? "Tesla Town," or “Camp MAGA,” where people can dig for lithium and party? Radical self-reliance meets radical resource extraction.

Danger Ranger: Wow. I mean, it’s almost Cacophonic AND poetic. Burners come to leave no trace, and you come to leave an open-pit lithium mine.

Elon Musk: Exactly! And think of the synergies! Self-driving Playa Art Cars. Flamethrower-powered dust removal. Maybe even an AI-powered shaman bot? I’ll call it GPT-Burn.

Danger Ranger: I hate how that actually sounds like something people would use. Final question—what would you say to the critics who think you’re turning the Black Rock Desert into a corporate sci-fi nightmare?

Elon Musk: I’d say they lack vision. But if it helps, we’ll throw in free Starlink Wi-Fi for every burner, not just you Founders. Connectivity is key as long as there are no issues with security.

Danger Ranger: Connectivity to what, exactly?

Elon Musk: The future! Everyone will come around. After all, the desert is the perfect place for innovation. And, you know, mining.
Danger Ranger: Thanks for your time Elon.

Immediately after his last comment, he jumped up and gives Danger Ranger a wave (as he defined it), or as most would call it, a n**i salute

Elon, Burning Man & You

04/01/2025

04/01/2025

04/01/2025

04/01/2025

04/01/2025

04/01/2025

Address

Website

Alerts

Shortcuts

Share

Listing takedown request