Jerome Hoffman, Life Coach in San Diego

09/07/2026

Couple's Therapy part 5 Internal and external processors.

Couple's therapy; learning if you are an internal processor or an external processor and how to come together in a way both needs are met.

08/31/2026

A Therapist's Ponderings; Couple's Therapy Part 4
Earlier I highlighted the disadvantages to making assumptions in therapy. This is also true in our everyday lives. We often make assumptions about the intent of others. These assumptions impact how we respond to other people in our own life. A simple example before we get back to Brenda and Barry. Your partner leaves the toothpaste on the counter. Your thought might be they know I like things clean in the bathroom. Your assumption is my preferences don't matter or they don't respect me. Hurt and anger will soon follow. Your partner may have been thinking that they will leave the toothpaste out because they are wanting to show you that they care, knowing that you are going to brush your teeth soon ...

Making assumptions in couple's therapy can have negative consequences. True in our personal life as well. Think possibilities instead.

08/25/2026

A therapist's ponderings: Couple's Therapy Pt. 3
The danger of making assumptions.
Couple's session one (note: this is a vignette based on some of the most common issues present in the couple I see - not actual clients). Brenda and Barry come in for their first session with me. As they join the session via Zoom, I introduce myself. I notice that they are in the same room and are sitting on the couch together. Brenda is leaning toward the camera with a bit of distance between her and Barry. Barry is leaning back and seems a bit disconnected from the process. After sharing the limits of confidentiality with the couple I ask if they have any questions for me. Both shake their heads no.
Me: "What brings you into therapy today?" Brenda looks back at Barry.
Barry: "Why don't you go first because I obviously can't do anything right anyways."
read more at lifecoachadvising.com

08/18/2026

Welcome to part 2 of couple's therapy. Before we meet Brenda and Barry there is one more talking point that is vital to all therapy and even more so couple's work; rapport. For deep work to occur, rapport is necessary and starts with the first contact. So, what is this thing called rapport? It is the concept of fostering a connection with another person based on mutual respect, understanding and trust. When these elements are present...
read more at lifecoachadvising.com

08/11/2026

My writing this is not intended as a "how to" of best practices, rather I am offering insights into the thought process of an actively working therapist. If there were nine other therapists writing this it is likely each of them would approach it differently; the joys of individuality but also it shows the importance of shopping around and finding a therapist that you mesh with. I hope to entertain (though little humor will be used because of the heaviness of the topics), to peek one's curiosity, to provide some understanding of the therapeutic process for potential clients, and to shed a bit of light on therapy for those that are considering such a career.
More can be found at lifecoachadvising.com

08/04/2026

Hello again, I wanted to complete the thought I started yesterday. Reason number two for the increased activity here is a bit of research I am doing for a new book in process. I don't want to give too much info and affect the outcome of the research.
If you are curious about the previous book, then you can learn more at 8financialpersonalities.com
I will warn you it was my first attempt at authorship. Admittedly I tried to fit in too much information, especially from a psychological perspective. I am working on taking a bit of a lighter view this time.

Have Questions About Why You React to Money the Way You Do? You came to the right place. “The 8 Financial Personalities” is a culmination of nearly 25 years of seeing clients as a Marriage & Family Therapist and over 25 years of my own personal investing experience. The clients I work with often...

08/03/2026

Hello all. This has been quiet for a number of years now. What is changing? Well, it is a two-fold situation.
The first is that I am decreasing my MFT (Marriage & Family Therapy) work and moving more into the Life Coach space. The main reason is the license requirement to stop seeing clients when they move or even vacation out of state. This can cause unneeded stress on those I am working with, especially considering how mobile our society is today. Out of time for today, reason 2 coming soon.
If you want to learn more about me, then check out lifecoachadvising.com

08/03/2026