06/17/2026
This is satire. Mostly.
I have walked enough listings to know that the things on this list are not hypothetical. They are based on a true story. Several true stories. And I say all of this with so much love because the sellers who laugh at this and then call me anyway are exactly my kind of people.
Your house has one shot at a first impression. One day one. One first weekend. And the difference between a listing that flies and a listing that sits is almost always the prep work that happened before the sign ever hit the yard.
You want your buyers to walk in and say WOW. That is always the goal. But it has to be the good kind of WOW, not the kind where they are WOWing at the dust coveted ceiling fan blades or the hurried touch up paint application or the candle that is working very hard to cover something.
I am the agent who will walk your home with honest eyes, tell you exactly what needs to happen, roll up my sleeves, call my contractors, and make sure we go to market with nothing to apologize for.
DM me the word SELLER and let’s do this right.
I want you to WIN!