12/09/2024
I wish you got to see your 12th birthday. To me it was symbolic, you were born on Dec 8th, 2012, 12th month, 2012th year. So to make it to another 12th month in your 12th year would have been special. My birthday is 12/12, so 12 was just a number I was selfishly hoping would happen. But on October 21st, 2024, I made the toughest decision of my life and I lost my best friend that day.
As I tell people that I've lost my dog, they often ask me, do you think you'll get another? Right away the answer came to me, there wasn't even another thought in my head. Another what, I say? I'll take Bauer back, but I have no interest in getting another dog, another pet or another animal. I feel like this would feel like someone asking after their son or daughter dies at 45, are you gonna get another? Nah lol.
Over the last 11 years and 6 months Bauer had become an integral part of my life, my reason to get up in the morning, my reason to rush home from work in the evening, my reason for going to bed at night. He needed his sleep just like I did lol. I moulded and shaped him as a dog and he moulded and shaped me as a human. We helped each other grow and prosper and never gave up on one another. He stood strong when I needed him and I stood strong when he needed me. I miss my buddy. I miss the reason I get up in the morning. I miss the reason I come home in the evening. And I miss the reason I go to bed at night.
As I turn the page to the next chapter in my life, I do it thinking, man that was a good chapter. I was lonely, but never alone. I was sad at times, but never unhappy. A dog like Bauer made me feel like I had something to look after and it made me feel complete. I would look after myself knowing that if I wasn't around nobody would be there to look after Bauer. I'm having trouble finding a reason to look after myself with him gone, there's definitely a hole in my life and it's going to be a journey to find what it will take to fill it. RIP baby boy, Papa loves you so much and will never forget you dragging me through the last 11 years and 6 months, I literally couldn't have done it without you.
Happy Birthday buddy, I miss you so much!