04/09/2022
Is there a statute of limitations on spiels? Just been looking out the window at the sun rising over the mountains by Loch Maree. And thinking back over various dawns. The only time I ever used to watch a dawn rise was when I worked nights with the police. My favourite one was when I covered Windermere during a summer season when I was about 21. On one occasion a mate and I were on the mail run through to Kendal just after 3am. We took the back road past the golf course. And noticed the lights were on, which wasn’t normal. So we did our police thing and checked it out. The doors were open so we snuck in and crept quietly up to the bar. Where we found the club pro, the steward and three rather happy Irishmen, smartly decked out in blazers and ties. Surrounded by a sea of empty beer glasses. I should add (for the information of any professional standards units out there) that we saw no evidence of actual drinking after time. Both me and my pal being golfers, and knowing the pro well, we sat down for a bit of “community relations” work. The lads all had ties with Windmarnock on them. Signifying the yearly match between Portmarnock and Windermere. After chatting for a bit a challenge was made. End result was a 6 hole match - local police versus portmarnock. Club pro carrying a big bag of clubs. Steward came along with refreshments. Sun rising over the fells as we wandered around. I can’t remember who won. It was more about the taking part. Anyway. We finished, shook hands and departed. One of the lads gave me his tie, which I presented to my Dad. He loved it and wore it for years. Always telling the tale of where it came from. My mate and I finished work. Swearing each other to silence. I was on quick change over and was back in at 2pm. Quiet night? I was asked by the office man. Yes, I said. At which point the he said “who won the golf”. The butcher had told him all about it that morning apparently. The whole bloody town knew before I’d even woken up. Our boss was the only person who didn’t know. Happy days.