Damian Rowe: Flatmate Real Estate

28/01/2023

Hey You
Do you like to wake up to the sounds of Nutri-bullets basting off at 5am?
Well don't I have a deal for you? The golf course's secret 19th is looking for a new member to join it's flat. Tucked away at the back of Greenview Dr, you'll be walking distance from Wood Street so you don't have to worry about that extra cocktail during happy hour changing the colour of your license to pink. Yet you won't feel completely urbanised as the 360 panaromic decking backs onto Manuka forest for the ultimate indoor/outdoor flow offering peace and tranquility as you tuck into a romantic novel. You'll be living with a man from the Hutt Valley who is facing the twilight years of his cricketing career and has channeled his focus into golf. And a dude who says he likes books but only looks at the pictures who has lived in Mangawhai since 2002, so can apply for local status is another 10 years. We are dudes in our late 20's who love a laugh and a lager but the salad days are over and we now eat salad with our dinner, so don't think you are gonna rock in here with your coffin of mavs under your arms and chuck filthy DnB on your Makita. Slide into my DM's if your keen on the flat or just keen in general.

10/10/2018

Looking for somewhere to gurn this summer? ya boi's got you covered

Officially Sponsored By Damian Rowe’s Flatmate Real Estate. Unofficially sponsored by Kingfisher Strong, Brownzy Sports Bar and the NZ Table Tennis Association From Montery Pop Festival and W…

19/08/2018

Hey You

Have you recently brought home a mutt from the SPCA only to find out that the Mrs won't let you have him in the Pruis? Maybe you've just got a job assembling IKEA furniture and because you carry around a toolbag with an allan key you need a vehicle that makes you look like a tradie. Perhaps you moved out of Auckland to avoid regional fuel tax and find yourself shocked and dismayed on the discovery that every road outside of state highway one is gravel.

You need a vehicle that handles the New Zealand landscape that keeps our road workers turning lollipops. The Ford Courier is the perfect vehicle that screams ideologies of NZ masculinity better than a BBQ with Richie McCaw.

The Ford Courier is essentially a Mazda Bravo with a better badge that allows you to join in on conversations about Bathurst. It features this Turbo thing that makes it go fast but more importantly it has roof racks which enables you to attach abnormally large and unsafe items to increase your macho prowess even though you have plenty of space in the back.

Its sleek design will definitely impress the local Four Square girls as you do mainies up and down the local township for hours blasting "Rock you like a Hurricane" by Scorpion with a glass China cabinet on the roof.

Contact upcoming ute photographer Jesse McAllister for the unnecessary details about price, specs and stuff

16/08/2018

Whilst the American dream is well established throughout literature, embellished within American culture we are left wondering what is the New Zealand dream?

The New Zealand dream is to own a home in the suburbs but whilst we wait for Phil Twford to conjure up some coins behind the couch and barter with the local scrappy to build some prefab homes for us in Waiuku, how can we live the New Zealand dream?

Perhaps like going through a dry streak on Tinder it is time to lower our standards and find the New Zealand dream by flatting in the Suburbs and there's nothing that reaks suburbia more than Sunnynook on the Northshore

You'll be entranced into a community where the local liquor store owner will already have your favourite box and ciggies on the counter come Friday night and your neighbours will gossip about your potential DUI when they notice you now catch the bus to work.

You'll be living with a dwarf who has been redundant ever since "The Hobbit" ended production and now spends his days spinning yarns about quantum physics he heard about on the Rick and Morty show and a stoner beachboy who spends his free time collecting old Powerade bottles from the days when they made sturdy bongs.

To inquire about this suburban wonderland contact Jay Bot Williamson

21/06/2018

After years of property inflation under the John Key era, they said it couldn't be done. That we have now reached an era where young professionals would have to gentrify other suburbs such as Avondale, Onehunga and Glen Innes. However, I'm here to tell you a lifestyle trend that swept through London, New York and Paris has no arrived in New Zealand that enables you to once again live in Ponsonby. That trend is minimalism.

This room is the minimalist wet dream that now can become your reality. With just enough space for a single bed and a bedside cabinet, you'll be spending hours scrolling through Pintrest looking for quirky wall storage designs to impress your consumerist mates about their unnecessary spatial overconsumption.

The room also makes the perfect atmospheric conditions for a boiler room set, limiting the number of trendy hipsters slowly sipping on imported Pabst Blue Ribbon needed for a sold-out show.

The location is close to the heart of Ponsonby so you can stroll the streets in those Blundstone boots to make a fashion statement instead of just as a necessary requirement for health and safety at your workplace.

You'll be living with sophisticated young professionals who have an intrinsic taste in fashion, music and pop culture like The Office US.

If your keen on the room, slide into Ashleigh Vw or Yasamine Sullivan dms

If you are just keen in general slide into mine.

22/11/2017

Like a series of unfortunate events, not even Lemony Snicket's could write about. The flatmate real-estate game was not the New Zealand small business dream that it was made out to be. The constant durry inflation meant the surcharge of a Rothy for a write up was too much to ask and a new realtor in Ari Tidyman's Real Estate page has become Mangaz finest realtor since an 05 Craig Matheson. In these dark times I have had to turn to selling vehicles.

Hey You

Are you sick of wondering around pick a part every six months for brake pads only to end up paying some dude from Huntly cash in hand who prints out WOFs, fake IDs and Birth Certificates from his PC computer to get your car road legal?

Are you a person that's finished their arts degree and started working at that insurance company always hiring young people? Perhaps you are done with selling paintball at the mall, got yourself a dress shirt and now work at Vodafone across the road?

It's time to make that next step into adulthood and get yourself a vehicle that looks professional enough to get a WOF from VTNZ and there's no better Vehicle than a slightly used Mazda 3

The Mazda 3 is the training bra of financial puberty. It's a symbol you have made it into the world of middle class suburbia. That you occasionally drink beer for the taste.

The car features enough space in the back to handle moderate Bunnings supplies for the weekend DIY yet the car is small enough to easily fit in the tight last park at the Briscoes Labour weekend sale. It features Seatbelts and airbags safe enough to drop the kids off at soccer and a cigarette lighter is located in the middle compartment so it's not too obvious your still punching the odd dart on a nice evening.

Low Kms as it's never left the North Shore and probably gets serviced more than the Tinopai town bike. Contact today if you want to slap this gem of a machine onto your morgage today.

19/07/2017

Hey You?

Have you ever wanted to gentrify a suburb but even though your a young professional the housing crisis has prevented you from making such a dream become a reality?

There's many areas in Auckland to gentrify but nothing smells of gentrification quite like Onehunga.

Imagine living in a place with the sights and sounds of Metroport with multiple options of lunchbars for culinary delights. You can literally walk home from a Warrior's loss and become a fashionista from outdated DressMart trends. They even added cafes and classy restaurants to complete the contrast.

Public transport has even made it easy to get to that cosy office job of yours if that that be in the CBD, Airport or Manakua

You'll be living with with three lovely young professionals chasing the New Zealand dream in modern stylistic home.

PM Ashley Maria if you want to make your dreams become a reality.
Proudly brought to you by Damian Rowe: Flatmate Real Estate

11/07/2017

Business has been a bit a slow. So I cut up an old pack of Rothies and made a business card. Gall me

30/06/2017

Who's is this geezer stepping on my turf? Don't make me get the heater out. Damo is number one.