24/04/2021
What to do when we are anxious and worried?
I believe most of us are stressed out and anxious with almost everything we can worry about. I’m not sure why but being stressed out and anxious has never been this popular as it is now. I feel it as if we are alive just to worry and be anxious all the time. It is as if the story of creation and the fall of man as described in the Bible parallels to what we experience. When God created the universe and everything in it, it was so peaceful and beautiful. He created Adam and Eve and the two were satisfied with what they had. Then some little sneaky creature whispered something to Eve, Eve gave in to that voice and did what the creature said. And after, Adam and Eve started to worry. They noticed that they were naked and they feared God would see them naked even though they were naked the whole time. When God realized Adam and Eve disobeyed Him, it hurt God like how a groom would feel if his bride abandons him in the middle of the wedding. He closed the door to the Garden of Eden thereafter.
Upon reflection, I realized, just like the Garden of Eden, life is supposed to be beautiful and peaceful. We had dreams and we had hope. It is as if everything is fine and will be fine. But then some little voice suddenly whispers to our ears: “What if…..” “What if you fail in your career or business? What if nakabukas pa yung electric fan sa kwarto, baka magover-heat at masunog.” “What if yung ubo mo senyales na may coronavirus ka?” “What if dahil sa coronavirus at bumagsak ang ekonomiya, malugi ang kumpanya? At dahil hindi na kumikita ang kumpanya, kailangan nila magbawas ng tao. What if isa ako sa mga tatangalin? Pano na?” And just like in the story of creation, upon hearing a whisper we start to realize we are indeed vulnerable and weak. As we realize how vulnerable we are, the once beautiful and peaceful life closes its door and somehow someway everywhere we go, we could hear those same whispers.
When we hear that whisper, we start to realize how vulnerable we truly are. We realize we truly do not have full control of everything and because of that, bad things might happen. We never felt more naked than knowing bad things might happen to us and to people who are important to us and we cannot do anything. That is scary if you ask me. Maybe that is the reason why we are always stressed out and worry too much.
Though we might not have full control of everything, what if we have control over how we respond to things and how we respond to things will determine what happens next? This is one of the realizations the late Dr. Viktor Frankl had when he was trapped in the Holocaust, a time when all Jews were trapped in an internment camp just to be killed or tortured to death. He realized there is a gap between stimulus (what happens to us) and response (what we do about it or how we react), and how we use the gap is what determines whether we become happy, satisfied, or successful. Dr. Stephen R. Covey even added that what determines our destiny is not the outside circumstances but it is our decisions.
And that brings me to this point: We may not have full control of everything, but we definitely have control over certain things. And since we have control on certain things, we can choose to become more proactive on those things. Whatever we think we can do and is the right thing to do, why not do something? We may still be worried and anxious, but at least we did something about those things. Because as we do something about those things, we can influence the outcome. We now have more control over what worries us. And with more control comes less worry. And if nothing else, at the least we have control over how we respond.
Because we have control over certain things, eventually we start to have more and more control on the outcomes in our lives and what happens to us
My point here is that though we may sometimes feel we do not have control in life because of all the external circumstances that is making us worried or anxious, in reality we do have control since we could fully control how we respond to external circumstances and we have control and can do something on certain things that can change or influence the outcome. That way, instead of being reactive in life, we are now being proactive. We make things happen, not things happening to us.
I always try to think of what Jesus said whenever I worry: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” (Luke 12:25)
