05/06/2024
When my daughter was born, the trauma of that experience set off a chain reaction that took me years to recover from. For the first 24 hours I doubted that this baby was my own and had trouble bonding. I felt deeply ashamed and believed I was a failure. Then came the overwhelming sense of claustrophobia, feeling as if the walls were closing in on me. I felt hopelessly alone, even (especially) in the presence of others. I had a loving, involved partner and caring support system, but suffered in silence, giving the self-deprecating, negative inner dialogue free rein. My self worth crumbled and years of therapy were undone as old coping mechanisms reemerged and I l sabotaged my marriage. I became more and more depressed developing suicidal ideation until finally seeking help and medication 4 years postpartum. I am
