01/16/2026
My beautiful Natasha, I’ve lived more of my life with you than without you, and I don’t know how to exist with this pain in a world where you are no longer physically here, because missing you makes it hard to breathe, as if the air itself knows you should still be here. Losing you has changed me in ways that can never be undone, because the weight of your absence is so deep that it makes me fight just to exist every day, and yet I envy you, mami, I envy that you’re with Jesus, that you’re whole, at peace, and free from pain, and even while my heart aches with that envy I’m grateful knowing you’re safe in a way I can’t protect you anymore, but that doesn’t quiet the pain in my chest or the emptiness in my arms, because being your mother didn’t end when you left this earth and loving you didn’t stop when my world shattered.
You are still my daughter, and you will always be my everything.
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Habeebte — I’ll carry you with me for the rest of my life, until the day I get to see you again.
