01/09/2013
"I can't take him to the toy store anymore. He has a tantrum every
time we go. I just want to be able to take my son into a toy store
and make a purchase and walk out.
I just want to keep the peace! I am tired of the stares and the rude comments
people make under their breath....as if I can't hear what they are saying."
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Is this a familiar story? If so, please continue to read....
I am going to tell you how you can help keep your child calm and how to
promote self-regulation. I find these to be useful life skills.
I know there are a variety of techniques that are helpful at
different times for different kids.
I am going to talk about the most effective techniques I have used
with my clients: Social Stories, which was created by Carol Grey, is truly one of
the most effective tools you can learn.
Basically, a social story helps children learn what to do and
what to say in different situations.
It is a personalized book and I like to use actual
photos of the children so that the book truly speaks to them on a
more personal level. Pictures are important because they are visual
and many children on the spectrum think in images.
Let's use the scenario of the toy store as an example. If we were
to turn this scenario into a social story, we would tell the child
what is going to be happening.
For example, "Today we are going to the toy store. I like going to
the toy store! I will walk in the store nicely. I can look at the toys.
When mom says it's time to go, I will say, "Ok," and walk nicely
with my mom." The story is written as to what behaviors are
expected using positives. Notice I didn't use any negatives.....
this is very important!
The social stories provide a script for your child to avoid any
misunderstanding. When you are in the situation, you can easily
remind your child of the story so that they can lift the script.
This helps them transition in real life without getting "stuck."
It turns out the little boy in the toy store scenario became upset
when his mom would go to the cashier to pay for the item.
He didn't understand the process of paying for an item. He found his
toy and wanted to go straight home. I helped her write a social
story to provide understanding for him as to what he could do
during that time.
For example, "After I find the toy I would like to bring home.
My mom will take the toy and pay for it. I can wait in line with my mom.
I can sing songs while I wait or talk to my mom about the new toy.
When we walk up to the cashier, my mom will open her purse and
take out her wallet.
We will put the toy on the counter. My mom will give the cashier
money for my new toy.
The cashier will put my new toy in a bag. I can hold the bag and
walk back to the car with my mom. Going to the toy store is a fun
adventure!"
This simple script helped this little boy achieve successful
outings to the toy store with his mother. It soon became a fun
outing for both of them.
She would read the story to him before they left the house.
He even carried the book into the toy store
with him to help remind him of the sequence of events.
One day, this mom decided to sing the social story to her son
simply because she was in a good mood.
It actually proved to be highly effective for several reasons.
Some people use songs to help them recall information because
singing helps "stick" information in your long term memory.
I had one mom say to me, "I wish my Sara could memorize multiplication
facts, after all she knows all the lyrics to Katy Perry's music."
That is simple because songs get stored in our long term memory
easier. There is research that shows that music is a primary
learning modality for some people with ASD. They are hard wired
for music.
I know some of you reading this, may be saying, "Well this is great
if we aren't in a meltdown situation. What do I do in a meltdown?"
If you are in a meltdown situation and you do not yet have a social
story, please try the following:
Do not ask comprehension questions such as, "Why are you
screaming?" Once your child has escalated into a meltdown, do not
bombard them with questions (especially for those with language
processing disorder) this only adds fuel to their fire.
We also want to make sure you do not become more frustrated.
Provide simple tips to calm down and break the meltdown cycle. You
simply want to give directions, "Take 10 deep breaths," and model
it for your child or count to 10 slowly.
The aim is to refocus them and to physically help calm their bodies.
Some parents have reported that simply singing their child's favorite song
helps decrease the length of the meltdown. This is probably because
music triggers memories and their favorite songs probably help
bring them back to a more peaceful state.
Most important, practice makes perfect. Keep writing social
stories and keep practicing these tips. You may not see results
after a day or even a week, but do not give up! The changes you
will see over time may be more than you expected.
I have had countless families tell me how life changing social stories have
been for them. I want you to experience their success using these
techniques.
http://kids.guyshealth.info