03/01/2025
This month, I want to discuss imposter syndrome and how to overcome it. I believe this important for us to know both in our personal lives but also in our professional lives
First, I want to give a quick refresher regarding what self-esteem is;
I see it as being comprised of two mindsets held at the same time; loving myself unconditionally and doing the best I can.
Loving myself unconditionally;
This means holding myself in warm regard and having self-compassion for myself, irrespective of my shortcomings and screwups. I am a child of God. I have essence and worth just because I'm alive.
Do the best I can;
I believe that, as humans, we were designed to learn and grow, improve, change, and give, even if it is just a little bit each day. We typically feel better about ourselves if we are making progress toward a worthy goal or character trait.
When we love ourselves unconditionally, and incrementally learning, growing and giving, that is when we are most happy.
Imposter syndrome is the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.
In the last three years, I have felt imposter syndrome related to my martial arts practice, Jiu Jitsu. I am planning on doing another tournament before the end of March. I am nervous. How will I do? Will I get hurt? Will I embarrass myself?
At times, I have compared myself to more seasoned martial artists or thinking that I should be more effective or successful after three years doing jiu jitsu. When I start doing this, I start getting down on myself.
My Sensei (teacher), Roger has told me and others not to compare ourselves to other but instead the earlier version of ourselves. If we are growing, even incrementally, then we are on the right track.
I am working toward becoming a more seasoned and highly skilled martial artists. Why? Because I am doing it!
2 quick tips;
1) I ask myself, at times, who do I want to become as a as a human, as a man? When we have compelling answers regarding who we are becoming, we get inspired.
2) I compare myself to yesterday’s version of me, not to others. Do not compare yourself to others but instead to an earlier version of yourself. Focus on small steps forwards.
Carpe diem!
Dave