08/24/2026
And then there was one.
2 weeks ago was the first day of school for my youngest. She kindly humored me by letting me take this picture. A new school. A new life for us as we figure out what it is to be just the 2 of at home. I've taken first day of school pictures for the last 273467 years. The kids probably don't love them. But they also know they mean something to me. It maps a slow progression of time. Or fast, I suppose- depending on if your glass is half empty or half full - or, more likely, how things are going around the house that day. Regardless, it marks regular intervals- time stamps almost exactly one year apart and proof of the growth that happens in those 365 days.
For years I've had two or three kids stacked up side by side holding signs that said "First Day of School. When I grow up I want to be a __." I've mapped the evolution of army dude to pilot to finance bro to now construction manager, chef to aesthetic nurse to marketing and public relations guru, and graphic designer to FBI profiler to engineer to interior designer. It's magical to map their little personalities to their dreams and witness the way their dreams and personalities have changed over the years as they grow into themselves.
On the last day of school this year, I stupidly let my younger 2 convince me that they would totally come back from school and take pictures if we didn't do them that morning. They promised. They were just tired. Or they needed to fix their hair. Or they were running late. Whatever the reason, after 12496 years of parenting, you would think this trusting mother wouldn't have been so naive. Here I am, something like 4 months later, and I don't have that last day of school picture. The signs I made them have been sitting on my bedside table all this time, as if I can turn back time to get the snapshots, hold on to a moment lost in time.
It didn’t happen the way I wanted. In fact it didn’t even happen. But maybe their lives aren’t about me, and I just need to let it go.
I guess that’s motherhood: having a hard time letting things go but also knowing that’s the end goal. A mother’s life is seesaw of being needed and letting go, back and forth...back and forth.
Until one day, there’s a First Day of School and nobody is left to snap the picture at all.
The plan is, after all, if you do your job right, eventually they go.
One day, they are grown and their life goes according to their plan- not yours- and you have to hope you gave them the tools to build the best plan they could...
And so here I am. My last sophomore year First Day of School photo. Only 2 more, First Day of School’s left before that day comes.
And as time keeps marching along- slow or fast, depending on the day, I’m going to choose to see that the glass is half full. I am going to try to slow myself down enough to really notice it all, do my best to savor the milestones I took for granted over the years, and let it go when it doesn’t all go according to plan.
