04/07/2022
A phrase I say over and over again is "You are a Mac and your husband/boyfriend/best friend/girlfriend/mother is a PC".
What this means (forsaking the obvious) is we connect to the people in our lives initially because we feel understood and known. We seem to share similar ways of being…but as time goes on, we realize that we are not exactly the same. We are in our own system, as they are too. We start to feel misunderstood, not seen, not agreed with all the time. This can cause hurt, anger, and frustrate us.
We get into arguments trying to prove our "way" is right. We use phrases such as "that's ridiculous", "you're crazy", "you're wrong", and "my way is the better".
In reality though, our way is just that, our way. Just because our loved one may have a different way (a different ‘operating system”) doesn’t mean they are wrong; they are just different.
The sooner we catch on to this and accept it, the sooner our relationships will feel better and run more smoothly.
The acceptance of "difference" is a big topic especially when it comes to how we live our lives with the people closest to us.
It speaks to the narcissism in all of us; that if we don’t feel it or experience it then it doesn’t exist! But what is real for one person may not be real for everyone.
We all have different triggers, different sensibilities – different operating systems!
