09/22/2026
The Realtor-to-English dictionary. I’m going to get in trouble for this one.
“Cozy” → You will meet your partner in the hallway and one of you has to back up.
“Charming” → Old. Lovably, expensively old.
“Motivated seller” → They have already bought the other house. Make the offer.
“Bring your vision” → Bring a contractor. And a checkbook.
“Convenient to everything” → You will hear everything.
“Priced to sell” → It is not. It has been on the market 61 days.
“Won’t last long!” → It has lasted long.
“Original hardwoods throughout” → This one’s actually a flex. Keep it.
None of this is a scandal. It’s marketing, and every agent in Dayton does some version of it. But knowing what the words mean is the difference between wasting a Saturday and touring three homes genuinely worth your time.
Send me a listing description and I’ll translate it honestly. Free service, slightly unhinged, DMs open.