08/27/2026
Landlords in 2006:
â$500 rent, $250 deposit. You got a job? Cool, hereâs the keys.â
Landlords in 2016:
â$850 first, $850 last, $850 deposit⌠donât ask questions. This is a deal.â
Landlords in 2026:
âAlright so boom â
⢠3x the rent (before taxes, after taxes, spiritually too)
⢠$2500 first month
⢠$2500 last month
⢠$2500 deposit (non-refundable if we vibe check you wrong)
⢠680 credit score minimum⌠but we prefer 750+
⢠No pets. (Yes for $100monthly a pet)No kids. No candles. No smoking. No va**ng. No breathing. No existing.
⢠$85 application fee (we will ghost you btw)
⢠$300 late fee if your payment blinks at 12:01
⢠6 references, 4 pay stubs, your horoscope chart
⢠Background check, foreground check, side quest check
⢠Fee for utilities.
Apartment:
550 sq ft (including the emotional damage)
Carpet seen 3 recessions
Fridge hums like itâs fighting demons
Stove got a lean like itâs tired too
Listing says: â¨âLuxury livingââ¨
đđ
Copy and paste if you agree!! Rent is ridiculous in these times!!