09/04/2026
😂 🚨 NEW EMPLOYEE WELCOME / FOOTWEAR INCIDENT REPORT 🚨
Please welcome our newest Property Manager, Meghan “Sole Survivor” Mull! ❤️🎉
Important HR clarification: we are both Meghan. She is Sole Survivor Meghan. I am Laughing Hyena Meghan. 👡💀
I’m in York at a planned appointment with an out-of-state resident seeing their new home before MOVING IN THAT SAME DAY, because in property management, you can plan the appointments. You cannot plan which team member’s footwear will resign mid-shift.
Meanwhile, Meghan sends me:
📸 A PHOTO OF A SHOE THAT HAS TERMINATED ITS OWN EMPLOYMENT.
“Any chance there’s tools or tape at Tobacco?”
I don’t see it for 13 minutes because I am with a new resident. I finally open it, and spend another TWO MINUTES alone in my car HOWLING, WHEEZING AND CRYING like Animal Control may need to intervene. 😭😂
Official Management Response Time: 15 minutes. Outstanding leadership. ⭐
I finally call her…
SHE’S ALREADY EN ROUTE TO DOLLAR GENERAL. 💀
She answers LAUGHING TOO. Now there are two Meghans hysterically laughing on the phone, one headed for emergency footwear, and STILL NOBODY HAS HELPED THE SHOE.
That sandal had simply decided:
“Property management was NOT disclosed during onboarding. Effective immediately, I resign.”
I stay on the phone for the shopping excursion while the Dollar General clearance rack basically says:
“We can restore mobility. Dignity is not included.” 😂
She needed a boss. She got a hyena on Bluetooth.
But Sole Survivor buys what’s available, deploys the Dollar General Emergency Response Footwear, goes to her next appointment, and after an entire day of chaos…
SHE FINISHES WITH MULTIPLE APPLICATIONS. 👏👏👏
Sole Survivor Meghan: Shoe explodes. Adapts. Keeps working. Gets applications.
Laughing Hyena Meghan: Sees picture. Loses all higher brain function.
Seriously, WELCOME TO THE TEAM, MEGHAN! ❤️ Resourceful, dedicated, and apparently committed to property management beyond the manufacturer’s recommended limits of her footwear.
That’s a campaign medal. 🫡
The sandal is not eligible for rehire.
Welcome to the party, Sole Survivor!
