03/28/2024
Long Post Alert: It’s funny how we never truly forget situations or trauma from our childhood, we just put them in the back of our minds and move on. For me and my walk, my past couldn't lie dormant, but had to be addresses! It took a lot of healing, deliverance, and prayer to be able to move on from my past.
This morning while driving, I was praying about a situation and asked God to guide me. In that moment, he brought back to my remembrance a situation that happened when I was 17.
Back Story:
When I was 17 years old, my biological father stopped by for a visit. We never had a great relationship because he was never aroumd. So that visit went as all the others ending in yelling, screaming, cursing, and slamming doors. Within the hour he called DSS ( DCF for other states)! He made them aware that I was in a house, with no parental supervision, there was no food in the home, I was currently pregnant, and that I had two other small children in the home with me!
In that same hour I had DSS at my front door along with four police officers! They came in assessed the situation and tried to call my mom ( no answer). They then said y’all have to come with me. After crying, yelling, my child’s father getting pepper sprayed, and handcuffed- we left.
I ended up at my paternal grandmother house ( for about two weeks). My father resided there along with other family members ( still no peace between he and I)! After one week, I had my oldest son, and the next week- I couldn’t take being in the same household anymore with an absentee patent that popped up and caused chaos ( and at the time still was).
My last option was Foster Care- and that’s where we ended! Me at 17 years old, two daughters, and a one week old son- property of the state because I was a minor!
I asked God, why did you bring up that memory? Am I not truly healed? I had so many other questions! In that moment, I felt peace about my situation that I was praying about earlier. Compared to that time in my life where everything was unknown and I felt like I was at war- the current situation seemed so minor!
I believe He was showing me that I've overcame so much in my life that literally took me through, that this situation shouldn't have even ruffled my feathers!!
The scripture that came to mind was Psalm 46:10 says Be still and know that I am God.
I'm thankful that I serve a God that knows me! He knows how my mind works ( I can be an overthinker at times) but He knows my heart! He didn't even allow me to wait 15 minutes before he brought closer to a situation as well as a solution!
I can type for days about God, His faithfulness, and more! But I will end with this- Be still and know that He is God! In every situation- He is God! It doesn't matter what it looks like in the natural- He is God 🙌🏾