04/23/2023
"Every Monday at 12:30 I walk across my driveway, and into my neighbor’s driveway to drag her garbage and recycling bins from behind her house, up to her side door.
She inevitably will call me at some point in the day to discuss at length what time she thinks she will get to the chore of placing her rubbish into the bins, and then I assure her I will bring the bins to the street by the end of the night.
Carol is elderly and in her own words 'not doing well.' I have been happy to help her in every way I can since I moved here, and she’s been so incredibly grateful.
It’s weird to talk about taking the trash out every week, but it’s become a welcomed connection to my lonely neighbor. Carol doesn’t have any kids, or partner, or friends.
Sometimes I’m the only person she speaks to for days. She doesn’t have the internet and would call me for advice, a weather report, or a plumber’s number.
Last night as I wheeled her bins to the curb, I realized she hadn’t put anything in them yet. Then I realized she hadn’t called me.
I called her landline and left a long message on her old school answering machine, giving her ample time to pick up. She didn’t.
Then I sat back and waited a few minutes for her slowly get to a phone and call me right back. And she didn’t.
So, I called her sister, who thankfully I had exchanged numbers with long ago. After explaining the day and the departure from our usual schedule, she shared my concern and decided to drive over and check on Carol.
I waited up until past my bedtime to make sure her elderly sister arrived as planned and to be there if they needed anything.
Moments after her sister arrived and turned on some lights, I saw the first ambulance arrive. Then another one, two fire trucks, and two police squads.
I knew it wasn’t good. Her sister came out and told me the news. She couldn’t find a pulse. I hugged her and started crying.
I am so glad I could help Carol stay in her home until the end.
She made it clear she had no interest in assisted living. It wasn’t my intent, but I was committed to helping her as long as she was next door and it just happened to work out that way.
I took this picture of my girls today and then almost erased it when I realized how visible the garbage bins were. But it was green garbage bins, just like these, that connected me to Carol. And helped me notice something was wrong last night.
I’m grateful I could do something to make her life easier. And I’ll miss our Mondays.
The police told her sister how lucky Carol had been to have a neighbor looking out for her. But honestly, I felt lucky too. To so conveniently be able to care for someone and make an intergenerational friend just feet away."
Shared with permission via Maura Caldwell of Finding the Silver Linings
