04/13/2026
Originally written Spring 2025, the article got edited and I requested their “new version” be removed.The full article is relevant so here it is:
Agents Find Your Who by 2030
The Thursday before Memorial Day weekend I departed from my home in Jupiter, Florida to visit the town I grew up in Oyster Bay, Long Island, New York, located 30 minutes east of Manhattan, without traffic. If you’ve ever celebrated Memorial Day on Long Island, you know the weekend calendar is filled with events honoring and mourning those who have died while serving in the U.S. Armed Forces. It’s also time for a mad rush out of New York City commencing summer vacation season to the beaches of The Hamptons, Fire Island, The Rockaways, Jones Beach, The Catskill Mountains, Jersey Shore, and the numerous airports.
The 3 day getaway to my home town was a spontaneous visit to see one of my best friends since junior high school, and other childhood friends of ours. It was a surreal moment as we celebrated the life of his mom who lived to 84. She experienced a beautiful life, a life we celebrated.
While many rushed to the Hamptons, we celebrated in our small town which includes the Theodore Roosevelt Elementary School, named after the 26th President of the United States whose home in Oyster Bay, Sagamore Hill, served as the “summer White House” from 1902 to 1908. Nearby from 1910 to 1939 the Kellogg Family and Harriman Family would fund The Eugenics Record Office, a research institute that gathered biological and social information about the American population, serving as a center for eugenics and human heredity research. Other notable residents, the Townsend family were one of the founding families of Oyster Bay and played a role in George Washington's Culper Ring of spies, a network of intelligence operatives. Raynham Hall, a historic house you can visit in Oyster Bay, was home to the Townsend family and Robert Townsend, a member of the Culper Ring. I didn’t take time to visit these homes, but I did visit the home I grew up in as a child and it was an amazing experience. These days people know of Oyster Bay because Billy Joel lives here, and one of his neighbors now long gone was John Lennon. And fyi John Gotti, Jr also lives here.
You’re probably thinking what does this have to do with real estate?
The woman who passed was the mom of my childhood friend I visited. She raised a wonderful family, and her surviving husband of 65 years is a titan in New York City commercial real estate brokerage. In 1964 he and his brother arrived to work at what is now the 3rd largest commercial real estate company in the world. In 1964 the commercial real estate company had 14 agents.
As about 50 of us celebrated and mourned during lunch at Chris and Tony’s, one of her favorite restaurants, I’m looking at my friends father’s eyes as we share a moment of conversation reminiscing of his adoring wife of 65 years. At this moment he didn’t care about real estate. He was surrounded by family and close friends who were there to support him and his family. His “who”.
If for a moment you look through the lens I recently experienced it changes everything. It changes what you want to do for your people. Your who.
The experience got me mind mapping for myself and real estate agents to think about whose funeral they’re going to get invited to, and who of your clients will attend your funeral or your loved ones funeral in respect to you. That’s your “Who”.
Actionable item: Find your who, your people that are so in love with what you do as a person, as a business person, and as a family person that you both make time for each other in both life and death.
What if in your customers living trust you are the deceased persons designated realtor to all of their real estate holdings because they knew how genuine you are and had confidence after their death that you as a real estate agent would look after their real estate interests with the highest level of professionalism for their decendents. If you’re not, it’s likely the deceased lawyer or executor is handling the sales and other aspects of the deceased persons real estate holdings. When you’re training as a real estate you often hear “you want to be their realtor for life”. But what about after death? Are you there at that super important moment? Did you get the call or email or text advising your customer died and their family needs your professional real estate services ASAP. Are you part of the family circle? If you are invited to a funeral as a friend of the family and real estate agent that’s handling the deceased persons affairs after their death it is because of the professional and personal relationship that you built with your customer. Did you get to meet your customer who died siblings, nieces, nephews, and closest friends? If you did meet, and they knew their now deceased relative who died trusted you to handle their real estate affairs after death, I know most smart agents can turn that situation into important relationships. A family member or friend may have moved next door or down the block from the home you sold your customer many years ago and you never knew.
You can easily add this information to your new client survey/questionnaire to advance your relationships with your customers and also send to everyone you ever helped buy or sell a home.
Let’s face the fact that crossing paths with someone that can afford a home is not as common as it was five years ago. Listings are gold. This is super important.
At age 55, that’s what I’m doing for the rest of my life and career. My focus is ironing out my small circle and ironing clad my who.
Nobody cares that you’re on the committee. Nobody cares that you travel to Washington DC for the realtor movement. Very few people care about your last deal, or how much you’ve grown your team, or your struggle when one of your agents left and stole your database. Very few people care that you are a good parent. The majority of people will think - go home and play with your kids. Remember, 2nd place gets a set of steak knives.
So that’s it. It’s not your “what” and it’s not your “why”. Very few people care. It’s your “Who”. I recently purchased concert tickets for this August to see “The Who” The Song is Over North American Farewell Tour. The lead singer Roger Daltrey is 81 and guitarist Pete Townshend is 80. If you get a chance, do a search on YouTube for “The Who” 1969 concert at Woodstock music festival in Woodstock, NY. 1969 was the year I was born. It was a different generation known for peace and love. And no cell phones. Our data wasn’t being collected and people actually lived in the moment. 1969 was a year marked by significant events, including the first moon landing, the Woodstock music festival, and the Stonewall riots marking the beginning of the gay and le***an “Pride” movement. Other notable events included the inauguration of Richard Nixon as president, and the withdrawal of US troops from Vietnam.
Watch the 1969 The Who concert at Woodstock music festival and you’ll understand what I mean by finding your Who. The 1969 concert launched their career. “The Who” were smart and knew they had to find their who.
The 2020 Chinese New Year was the year of the Rat. Everything in the world has changed. Welcome to the Great Reset - The New World Order. Prepare your Who before the robots arrive.
A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.” -- Joseph Campbell
