09/17/2020
F = Figure it out.
E = Evaluate it.
A = Action plan it.
R = Repeat it.
Step 1 – Figuring Out What We Are Really Afraid Of.
Let's use the common fear of public speaking as an example. Are you really afraid of speaking in public? Probably not, we do it all the time. The fear is more likely the act of speaking in front of a captive audience. To make it worse the audience is composed of strangers, so they are unfamiliar to us. Also we will most likely have to stand up and be on display during the speech. You have to think through the surface fear and figure out what is really causing the apprehension.
Step 2 – Evaluation. Why Are We Afraid of Speaking to a Captive Audience?
I know fear is an emotion, but try approaching it analytically. Are we afraid of misspeaking? Are we afraid of being embarrassed? Are we afraid of being asked a question? Are we afraid of what people will think? Are we afraid of our pants falling down? It's probably a combination of all of these possibilities, plus some others.
Now we're making some progress and getting to the root cause of our fear. When evaluating your fear ask yourself, “What's the worst that could happen?” Make a list of these things and you have a good start on your evaluation. After reviewing your list you'll probably see it's really not so bad.
Step 3 – Action Plan to Overcome the Fear.
If we are afraid of misspeaking, being embarrassed, or being asked a question, then we can practice our speech over and over again, and even have notes available during the speech.Will this guarantee that we won't trip over a word do to nervousness? Of course not, but we also realize that all great speakers stumble over words do to nervousness or excitement.
Do you really think any less of a person who corrects himself or herself while talking?We need to practice in front of a live audience, but you should crawl before you walk. Let's start by standing up and speaking in front of a few of our friends. There will be some initial nervousness and embarrassment, but it will soon pass. Then we might volunteer to give a presentation at a group we're involved with, such as the homeowners association, the kid's school, the office etc.
There will now be a combination of people we know and people we don't know. Again there will be some initial nervousness, but it passes quickly. Now maybe we move up to the local toastmaster's club and follow the same routine. Soon we realize that there is always some initial nervousness, but it always passes and we are able to complete the speech and answer questions.
Step 4 – Repeat
Simply repeat the actions that you determined would help you overcome the fear. Repetition breeds familiarity, and once you become familiar with something there is no need to fear it.
