01/25/2026
This story, generated by ChatGPT, goes to the heart!
Here’s a dialogue that leans into the thirteen-ness of it all—the seriousness of a decision that is, on the surface, about pie, but underneath about identity, tradition, and the sacred right to maximize dessert intake.
Scene: Lunch table at school, a few days before Emily’s birthday. Trays half-finished. Emily is poking at her apple slices rather than eating them.
Amanda:
Okay, that’s it. You’ve been staring at those apples like they personally betrayed you. What’s going on?
Emily:
I have a problem.
Scott:
Is it a real problem, or a thirteen-year-old problem?
Emily:
It’s a real problem because I’m thirteen.
Paula:
That’s… unhelpful but intriguing. Go on.
Emily:
Dessert. Birthday dinner dessert.
Amanda:
Oh.
(leans in)
Pie.
Scott:
This just got serious.
Emily:
Apple pie or guava pie.
Paula:
Oh no.
Amanda:
Oh wow.
Scott:
You can’t just drop that on us without warning.
Emily:
I know! That’s why I can’t decide. Dad makes whatever I choose. One pie. No switching. No “both.” This isn’t a restaurant.
Amanda:
Okay, first of all, hamburgers and broccoli is a strong main-course choice. Very “I know who I am.”
Emily:
Thank you. That part was easy.
Paula:
But dessert is where your soul is exposed.
Scott:
Apple pie is… classic. Safe. It says, “I respect tradition.”
Emily:
Exactly! It’s birthday-appropriate. It’s what you’re supposed to choose.
Amanda:
But guava pie says, “I have layers. I am not bound by Midwestern expectations.”
Emily:
That’s the problem! What if people think I’m trying too hard?
Paula:
Who is “people”?
Emily:
My grandparents. Possibly the universe.
Scott:
Counterpoint: guava pie is objectively more exciting.
Amanda:
And you love guava pie.
Emily:
I do. But apple pie is comforting. And it goes with ice cream better.
Paula:
Guava pie also goes with ice cream. It just… surprises the ice cream.
Scott:
Here’s a key question: when is the cake?
Emily:
Saturday afternoon. Dad says we’re doing it early so everyone can “really enjoy dinner.”
Amanda:
Ah. Strategic cake placement.
Emily:
Exactly. Which means I will already have eaten cake that day.
Paula:
So dinner dessert has to justify its existence.
Scott:
Apple pie after cake feels redundant.
Emily:
That’s what I was thinking!
Amanda:
Guava pie after cake feels like a second act.
Emily:
But what if I regret not choosing apple pie? What if thirteen is when I should still be choosing apple pie?
Paula:
Emily, thirteen is literally the year you’re allowed to start choosing the unexpected thing and seeing how it feels.
Scott:
Worst-case scenario: you miss apple pie once. Apple pie is very patient. It’ll be there at fourteen.
Amanda:
Also, you can’t underestimate the joy of watching people say, “Guava pie?!” and then go back for seconds.
Emily:
I do like that part.
Paula:
So what does your stomach say?
Emily:
My stomach says guava.
Scott:
There it is.
Amanda:
Then that’s your answer.
Emily:
(smiles, finally picking up an apple slice)
Guava pie. I’m doing it.
Paula:
Bold. Thirteen-year-old bold.
Scott:
Just promise us one thing.
Emily:
What?
Scott:
Save me a piece.
