11/12/2025
$380k on a $549k listing. Not a typo. 31% under ask.
Escalation clause up to $385k (so they're "competitive").
FHA with 3.5% down (translation: this will never close).
Contingent on inspection, appraisal, financing, AND selling their current home (which isn't even listed yet).
90-day close (because chaos takes time).
$15k in seller credits for "anticipated repairs" (on a house they haven't seen).
And a 3-page personal letter about their "journey."
My buddy showed me this offer and asked: "Is this a joke?"
Me: I genuinely don't know anymore.
This isn't an outlier. This is Tuesday in real estate.
This is what your agent is fielding while you're checking Zillow for the 47th time today wondering why nothing's happening.
This is why your agent drinks.
The market isn't broken. Buyer expectations are.
You want to win? Stop watching HGTV.
Start trusting the person who sees 40 of these disasters before breakfast.
Or keep writing letters.
I'm sure the seller's really moved by your dog's story.
Tag an agent who's seen worse. (There's always worse.)
