Jennifer Lea Tennessee Realtor

11/16/2023

The little nugget on the right should’ve been 42 today. 😔 I’ve tried to be happy knowing that she’s riding high in the sky forever smiling and experiencing joy beyond my imagination.

But I’m angry.

Addiction sucks. I’ve opened up the old texts back to last year when it was her birthday, the week leading up to her birthday last year was rough. She was acting like what we thought was just an angry spell, a bad week, a bad day? We’ll ride this storm out with her like all the past ones. NEVER in a million years did I ever suspect she was or had been drinking to self medicate. Or at all, honestly. And were these spells we’d go through times had she always been drinking? How did I miss it? How could she be so high functioning and so many of us miss it? Soooo many people missed it.

There’s so much most of us will never understand about addiction, when it starts, how it slowly takes over, how freaking hard it is to admit it or let alone even stop the addiction. And so many times we think “thier grown, we can’t interfere in others lives”. I’m going to call BS. Do it anyway.

My birthday wish for her today since she can’t make one is that I hope her life, her story will inspire and save other lives. I’d give anything to show her she wasn’t alone. And I’m positive if any of you are reading this and are hiding your addiction, your family would rather battle the storm with you to recovery than not. You matter. No matter what your hijacked brain tells you, YOU DO MATTER! And ADDICTS DO RECOVER!

Happy Birthday my little sister!
I love you and miss you so much . 💔

09/04/2023

The hits just keep coming. One week ago at 0457 I heard my bonus Dad’s last breath.

The last week of his life was very surreal. Going from ER to hospital room to hospice care at home in a matter 5 days will be memories in time that will always remain bittersweet to me. We got to enjoy laughs, good food as a family again, look at old photo albums and watch the last precious days with our Dad with us slip away.

If you know him, you know he was quiet but strong, soft but stubborn as nails, standing in the corner but somehow leading from the front by setting the example of what it means to be a husband, a father, a stepfather, a worker, a friend and most importantly what it means to make mistakes and yet keep running after Jesus.

I was there with him every step of the way. It was hard. But I wanted to love him the way he loved us kids that weren’t his, he took us into his life as his own. He went out with his dignity in tack, cracking jokes, being stubborn and showing love just as he did the rest of his life, why would we expect any different. We did not have any nurses with us at the house over the weekend and I choosing to step in to help take care of him gave me a new appreciation for hospice nurses. It is not easy to do that job.

The days were filled with little blessings though and there’s a time on Sunday evening that I just crawled into bed next to him and told him “if you see Jesus in your sleep, you run to him, don’t look back and just run” he responded with “I’m running, I’m running”

And he did.

The last breath I heard him take sounded exactly like one would make after running a race. He ran the race, and no doubt heard “well done thy good and faithful servant” and I will hold onto that memory forever.

He is already missed soooo much. It hurts. There is a huge hole in so many hearts right now. Death just sucks. This loss along with my little sisters death just a short seven weeks ago is very hard for all of us to process. Yet I know we will somehow. 💔

I love you Dad.

07/20/2023

I haven't wanted to post this, because if you don't post it, it isn't 'real' right?

Man, I have the words, but I don't have the words to accompany this kind of post. One week ago yesterday I watched my little sister Missy Ward take her last breath, and I still can't wrap my brain around the reality that "she's gone".

If you are wanting to make a difference, know the truth, or help another life, save another family then read my words. If not, keep scrolling. Our hope and prayer is that her life will save others, even one.

You'll read about her life and the beauty that her cowgirl life was, and then if you read until the end, you'll see that her unresolved trauma was a culprit to her young death. Why share this? Why am I talking about THIS?? Because she's not alone. Others reading these very words are in same boat as she was. If I'm honest, I struggle. I am surrounded by my Veteran brothers and sisters who struggle. As a society we're trying to be more open and accepting, but if I don't share my feelings, then I'm not helping to save another life either. I have to be real about this part of her life too.

This message is for you who is reading right now with the unresolved trauma, the panic attacks, the anxiety, the PTSD, the depression, the abuse, the neglect, the mistakes, the anger, the shame, the 'whatever' you want to call it that has caused you to think you have to be self-reliant and 'take care of this all on your own'. You can't. You weren't created to do this alone.

My little sister was stronger than most. Heck, I even told her that she's stronger than me. You want to know what she told me in the hospital?

"Jen, I'm not stronger than you, you aren't stronger than me, we're just different strengths and that's why we're better together"

We found out "her truth" on the 29th of June and 13 days later she died on July 12th. 13 stinking days to process what has been in the works for over a decade.

Again, I'm sharing this publicly because we had NO CLUE to what was going on. None of us did. Not her friends, not her co-workers, not her family, no one knew the extent that she was self medicating. Anyone who was close to my sister knows what a stubborn pistol she could be, but for her to keep silent about THIS just makes my heart break.

I have to admit that I had no clue to the depths of what 'alcoholism' was/is and what it can do to a person and a family, a community. Like for instance, did you know that the very "issues" a person who is trying to escape from them and run from them, and drown them out with alcohol will be the very same "symptoms" they'll experience if they try to quit?? I had no clue. Trying to quit an addiction to alcohol causes anxiety and depression, etc.

I have to admit I've been judgmental and just said things out loud like "why can't they just stop drinking" when hearing about others struggling. It wasn't until this disease was staring in our faces, until I saw it in my little sister that I started researching what this disease is and how it hijacks a persons brain, I had no clue that it's almost impossible to quit on their own.

The self-reliance and the denial become so strong a person just keeps going down the path they are going. They begin to think they don't have a problem, or they think they can manage it on their own. The truth is, there IS help, but they have to do it with the help of others and medical teams, support groups, therapy etc.

Want to know what else I didn't know? I didn't know that the damage the alcohol does to a liver is almost asymptomatic until its TOO LATE! Why? Because people lie at physical check ups and don't admit exactly how many drinks an individual has on a daily basis. The liver is an amazing organ and can regenerate until it's been damaged too much and it can't. Read what a liver failure death entails. That is what your loved ones will see you go through. Harsh? Maybe. But I believe the truth will set you free.

And when a person starts getting sick and finds out why they are sick, statistically the timer has been set. 2-3 months left to live. And another thing that completely sucks about alcohol addiction is that if you get to the point where you're so sick, you aren't even eligible for a liver transplant. So don't think you still have a card up your sleeve.

You might be thinking, why is she saying all of this? Because I'm angry. I'm mad that we didn't know. I'm mad that there's nothing we could do to stop it, reverse it, cure it, change it. Almost every single person who is finding out about her death is feeling to some extent.....how did we miss it, I didn't know, is there something else we've could have done for her, with her, talked to her, etc.

We will not remember her for only this part of her life. There is so much to her that will be missed, is missed. But if you are the one who is reading this right now and struggling with this type of life, say something. Tell someone, in that moment of clarity you get at some point in the day, just reach out. I promise you that your family and friends would much rather walk out the process with you, than to be writing obituaries for you.

I am happy to talk about this with anyone. Please share it. Please if you see these signs in a loved one where alcohol is dictating their life and think that you don't have a right to ask questions, ask them. If you are getting shut out, don't give up on them, let them know you love them and want them here. There is freedom available. This didn't have to happen. It doesn't have to happen to you either. 💔

Ride high in the sky my cowgirl angel. You're at peace now.

Melissa was born on November 16th, 1981 and passed away on July 12th, 2023 at the age of 41

06/23/2023

Having an amazing title company with an even more amazing team makes the finish line for closing day that much more sweeter! Thank you for always feeling like we’re “home” when we see y’all!!

04/09/2023

Honestly, it hasn’t always been easy to believe, but man am I’m thankful to have HOPE and PEACE in knowing that each one of us are so very loved and known, and wanted. Jesus paid the price for my sins, my mistakes, my screw ups, my failures, my shortcomings, and gives not only me, but YOU as well that same invitation into this same Hope and eternal Peace. I pray you will accept Him into your heart one day too.

03/29/2023

The more you know! And CONGRATS to all those first time home buyers!!! Wahoo!

First-time buyers were responsible for 27% of sales in February; Individual investors purchased 18% of homes; All-cash sales accounted for 28% of transactions; Distressed sales represented 2% of sales; Properties typically remained on the market for 34 days.

02/02/2023

Well did he see his shadow today or what???

Also…..this is too funny. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the “Zillow says my homes worth…..” comments! 🤣 Call a real person, meet with a real person and talk about what your home might be worth!!! *hint hint* I’m a real person. 🙂

02/01/2023

Before/After action on a rental cleanup….missing these sunny days here in TN where you can do some elbow grease work in the sunshine instead of this cold, damp, ice pellet weather we’ve got!

01/28/2023

I edited this because it needed a permanent spot in my squares. It’s funny buttttt true.

Everyones always thinking that being a is all glitz and glam. “Not worth it” or “commission jobs” are scams. Wellllll…..do you go to the Dentist and expect them to be free? Discounted? Reduced?

Nope….you don’t. I took classes, passed National and state tests, pay yearly fees and dues, pay yearly insurance, pay for marketing, have way more hours of continuing education than required to renew license, etc….why??? Because I care. My “expensive commission” when broken down and for the amount of hours I give to each client….isn’t really expensive at all.

Plus….I’m way more enjoyable to work with than a Dentist! Haha! I won’t rip your teeth out and leave you with a half numb smile, all full smiles here! 😀

®