12/25/2023
Twas the night before inspection, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The reports were laid out by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the inspector soon would be there.
The buyers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of upgrades danced in their heads.
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the lustre of midday to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a diligent inspector, full of good cheer.
With a toolbox in hand, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment this house would be slick.
More rapid than eagles, the checklist it came,
And they whistled and shouted and called them by name.
"Now, siding! Now, wiring! Now, plumbing and roofing!
On, foundations! On, ceilings! On, every flooring!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now inspect away! Inspect away! Inspect away all!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The steps of the inspector, each one with a proof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney, the inspector came with a bound.
They were dressed all in gear, from their head to their foot,
And their clothes were all tarnished with dirt and with soot.
A bundle of tools they had flung on their back,
And they looked like a pro, just opening their pack.
Their eyes—how they twinkled! Their dimples, how merry!
Their cheeks were like roses, their nose like a cherry!
Their droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on their chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pencil they held tight in their teeth,
And the reports, it encircled their head like a wreath.
They had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when they laughed like a bowl full of jelly!
They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
Filled out all the details, then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger aside of their nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney they rose!
They sprang to their truck, to their team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight,
"Happy inspecting to all, and to all a good night!"