05/16/2022
I’m Trevor. I’m 25 years old and by the mighty power, grace, and mercy of God I am sober and rescued from the affliction of alcoholism. My story begins in the countryside of Buford SC. When I was 14, I began to smoke ma*****na because it allowed me to feel “normal” and have a sense of connectedness with those around me. When I turned 15, I indulged in alcohol for the first time. Soon thereafter I began to experiment with psychedelics and dissociatives, all to try and dive deeper into my mind and learn more about who I really was. This led me to dabbling in pain pills, but it landed me at the doorstep of alcohol due to it being cheaper and easier to obtain.
I spiraled out of control. My family tried to help me, but they didn’t know what to do or even what to say. After many outbursts while I was intoxicated, they had begun to walk on eggshells around me, afraid that one wrong word was going to send me into a spiral of unmanageable rage. I hated myself for every bruise, cut, broken bone, and damaged heart that I had given to those that I loved. I was a reckless monster unleashed without reason. I spent many nights locked in a cell wishing I would go to sleep never wake up, because at least then I wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone ever again.
I went to AA for the first time. Upon arrival, I thought “I’m no alcoholic, I just have bad luck when I drink.” This spout of soberness lasted less than one day. Eventually I had become homeless and wandered about with no direction. It was during this period that I was using m**h, co***ne, and crack. I became a man with no purpose, an empty soul just waiting for the next fix.
After a few years of this vicious cycle of homeless drunkenness and detox after detox, I decided I would try for the last time to go and get help because su***de was my next option. Little did I know God had been working for me this whole time and would put a place into my path full of men armed with the tools to pull me up out of the trenches, brush me off, and guide me to the salvation that is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. On November 19th, 2021, I walked through the door of CRCI. I was completely lost, broken, lonely, and scared, I was ready to end it even though I came and presented a strong sense of holding it together.
Today I have a newfound meaning and purpose, I see a future of hope (Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.) This place has blessed me with the understanding of the gospel, allowed me to grow and develop traits I had never known that I could possess. I give all the glory to our father God. I do not deserve the love and mercy that He has bestowed upon me. I will forever be a new creature in Christ, and it is therefore that I thank God and CRCI for bringing me to the revelation that Jesus Christ is Lord. No matter how messy or dark my past is I know I am a son of God redeemed by the blood of the lamb. I am thankful that CRCI is allowing me the opportunity to stay after graduation as an LDI so that I can pass along the good news and message of hope, which is my testimony.
