08/31/2022
200 things only a Long Islander can understand.......
1) You don't live in Long Island.
2) You got your local news from Carol Silva or Drew Scott.
3) You know someone who worked at Grumman.
4) You're from one of 4 places: North Shore – Nassau, South Shore – Nassau, North Shore - Suffolk, South Shore - Suffolk.
5) You listen to Roger and JP in the morning.
6) You don't know what the hell they're talking about when someone says "Let's go to the shore"
7) You know when someone says "The Forks", they don't mean silverware.
8) You've used a clam shell for an ash tray.
9) When you close your eyes … you can still smell the boardwalk.
10) Wandering around Fire Island trashed is acceptable on any night in the Summer.
11) Doing 90 over the Robert Moses Bridge or on Ocean Parkway is perfectly fine.
12) You know which beaches allow surfing.
13) You know what low tide smells like.
14) You’ve missed the last Ferry from Fire Island.
15) You know who Guy Lombardo was.
16) You don't brush the sand off your feet before you get in the car.
17) You tried to "Save the Oak Beach Inn".
18) You know which way the winds blowing by looking at the seagulls.
19) You know the difference between a "Parkway" and an "Expressway".
20) You've driven the stretch of Ocean Parkway in the winter without passing another car.
21) You can name the bars that Twisted Sister played in.
22) You know where the Good Rats played.
23) There is another meaning to "SOB".
24) You know where "The Pencil" is.
25) You know where "The Duck" is.
26) You know where the Vietnam Memorial is.
27) You remember when the beach at Smith Point was as wide as the beach at Jones.
28) You’ve partied at the Kismet Inn, and you’ve been to the “Out”
29) You've refused to use the bathroom on the LIRR because it was the right thing to do.
30) You shopped at Pathmark or Bohack's.
31) You still scream in the tunnel going from the parking lot at Jones Beach and Smith Point.
32) You still miss Nunley's.
33) A bird craps on your car within 5 minutes after a wash.
34) French Fries from the concession stand at the Drive-In was considered health food.
35) You have more Pro sports to root for than anywhere else in the country. The Yankees, Mets, Knicks, Nets, Rangers, Islanders, Jets, Giants, & Ducks.
36) You worry when someone says "full moon" and "Nor' Easter" in the same sentence.
37) Your parents told you they moved to Suffolk County because it was “Out in the Country”
38) You know your not suppose to climb on the jetty but you still do.
39) You can tell if the guys or girls on the other side of the bar are from Queens or Brooklyn.
40) You know that the Long Island Railroad doesn’t run North and South
41) You've cursed out the Jack n' the Box drive thru clown at 3:00 am.
42) You’ve looked for Beach Glass.
43) You know that 110 really separates Nassau and Suffolk.
44) You remember the “Pickle Works” in Farmingdale.
45) You know that Montauk Hwy and Merrick Rd. are the same road.
46) The Hampton Bays Diner saved you from wetting your pants on many occasions.
47) You can see from one 7-11 to the next one.
48) You don't use a menu in a Deli.
49) Every time you see an Eddie Murphy movie or a hear a Mariah Carey song, you tell yourself, “They're from Long Island”.
50) You know what a "Buttered Roll" is.
51) Coffee – Regular doesn't mean "caffeinated".
52) It's called a Hero!!!! Not a Sub or Grinder!!! End of story.
53) You remember the "Bar Car" on the LIRR.
54) You know someone who owns a Good Rats album.
55) You know what to do with a Lacrosse stick.
56) You can’t take a Bus from the Port Authority in New York to Long Island, but you can go anywhere else in the Country.
57) You can't say "Hot Dog Beach" without giggling from the memories.
58) You remember going into … but not coming out of the Uniondale Mini Cinema.
59) Hawaiian Tropic or Coppertone was your first forms of "sunscreen".
60) It took you several Summers, but you actually visited the OBI South, East & North.
61) My Father's Place" was not your Dad's house.
62) You saw the Stray Cats before they were famous.
63) Sunday Newsday comics were great.
64) You owned a T-Shirt that says, “I survived the Boardy Barn”, but you really didn’t.
65) You leave your money on the bar.
66) You know the difference between the “Miracle Mile” and the “Nautical Mile”.
67) You could name the bartenders and bouncers at The Salty Dog, Hammerheads, Speaks, Solomon Grundy's, Mad Hatter, Chaucer's Ale House, Hutley’s, Right Track Inn, Max's of Wantagh, Ed's Bay Pub, Maracash, Malibu, 1890's Club, Ubies OTJ, etc.…
68) As much as you try not to… You still curse … a lot.
69) You still get sick to your stomach not seeing the Trade Towers off in the distance.
70) Flip-flops are normal, even in January.
71) You drive down Dune Road to shake your head at the strange houses, and try to figure out how people could live in them.
72) You know that “Amity” was a fictional place in “Jaws”, and when they filmed the movie. They filmed it in Martha's vineyard.
73) You know exactly what they mean when they say "Don't change at Jamaica."
74) You know that The Drift Inn and Neptunes are in the same building, but you also know that they are NOTHING alike.
75) You keep saying that, “One of these times, when we’re driving out to Montauk, we’re going to stop and eat at the Lobster Inn”, but you’re always in a hurry and you never do.
76) The exact pronunciation is:
Islip: “Eye-Slip” not “Is-Slip”
Wantagh: “Wan-Taw” not “Wan-Tough”
Commack: “Com-Mack” and “Co-Mack” are both OK
Mattituck: “Matt-ti-Tuck” (There is no wrong way)
Shinnecock: “Shin-eh-cock”
Quogue: “Kwog” or “Kwoge”
Ronkonkoma: “Ron-Konk-oma” not “Ron, Con, Coma”
Hauppauge: “Hop-Pog”
Mineola: “Minnie-Ola”
Islandia: “Eye-Landia” not “Is-Landia”
Massapequa: “Mass-a-Pee-kwa”
Patchogue: “Patch-og” not “Patch-a-goo”
And the big one: It’s NOT pronounced “Lawn-Guyland”!!!
1) You and your friends are going to the beach, but the word beach never comes up in the conversation. Instead, it sounds something like this..."Well, we could go to Jones, but Moses is closer, the North Shore’s too rocky...whatever, lets go to the Hamptons."
2) You’ve waited on line at Briamere’s for a Pie.
3) You’ve gotten a face full of melted butter eating Roasted Corn.
4) You’ve made the mistake of trying to drive on Sound Avenue on a weekend in October.
5) You know that it's possible to take Jericho all the way to Queens but you would never do it.
6) Lake Ronkonkoma was formed from Glacier water.
7) Parallel parking in your Drivers Ed class was pointless. You only had to do it next to one car.
8) You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there.
9) When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're home, you hate it.
10) You think if you're not from either Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
11) You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau then into Suffolk simply on intuition.
12) You don't go to Manhattan , you go to "The City."
13) You never realized you had an accent until you left.
14) Everything north of the Bronx is "upstate."
15) At some point in your life you've eaten a raw clam.
16) You’ve eaten Hot Dogs from a Van on the side of the road.
17) Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.
18) You know there’s only one “H” in Southampton.
19) You know where the Commack Motor Inn is. (Just leave it at that)
20) Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.
21) You know the location of 6 malls, 12 McDonalds, and 41 7-11's.
22) You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
23) You can't understand why a diner would ever close.
24) You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you got smashed at the Boardy Barn.
25) You know White Castle is terrible for you and it gives you a stomach ache, but you periodically "Get the Crave."
26) You think that somehow, the Jets and Giants still play in New York.
27) You've missed that "Drunk Train," the 2:42 out of Penn, and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.
28) You've never taken an MTA bus.
29) Grucci Fireworks.… The Best.
30) The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.
31) You don't associate Fire Island with only gay men.
32) You know which parts of the Godfather were filmed on Long Island.
33) You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for it.
34) Billy Joel said it best, "Either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore".
35) Either you, or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these places: Babylon, Port Washington, Patchogue or Ronkonkoma.
36) You know that there is a big difference between any of the other Hamptons, and Hampton Bays.
37) You've been stuck in a traffic jam for more than 2 hours without moving.
38) Your parents took you to All American, Nathans or Roy Rogers on the way home from the beach.
39) You get proofed. Not carded.
40) You know the color of the water at Jones Beach is not BLUE!
41) You know which beach at Moses is the Family Beach, and which one is the Cool Beach.
42) You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's.
43) You can spout off all the LIRR stops between Penn Station and Ronkonkoma.
44) When you went Strawberry Picking, You ate more Strawberry’s in the field than you brought back to pay for in your basket.
45) The Movie Theaters with the biggest screens were in Bay Shore & Patchogue.
46) Peter Frampton recorded "Baby, I love your way" in the Commack Arena.
47) Girls “Axe” questions rather than “Ask” Questions
48) You think the people from Brooklyn are "da wunz dat tawk wit a accent."
49) You went sledding in the sumps.
50) You knew of Massapequa before the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco nightmare.
51) You think going to Queens is a hike.
52) You always take the long way to Sag Harbor.
53) The first time you heard the term "Long Island Iced Tea" you were somewhere else and you laughed.
54) The first time you ate Long Island Duckling, you weren’t on Long Island.
55) When you live somewhere else, you’re astounded to see that people actually stop at yellow lights.
56) It’s very rare to get really bad bagels or pizza on Long Island, almost as rare as it is to get good bagels and pizza anywhere else.
57) You’ve been to Adventureland in Farmingdale.
58) You’ve never been to the Statue of Liberty.
59) Gene Wilder wrote “Blazing Saddles” in Easthampton.
60) You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.
61) You've partied in the woods at least once as a teenager.
62) You know what Pilgrim State and Sweet Hallow Road are and you are NEVER going again.
63) You're never more then 20 minutes away from the water.
64) You have been to at least one concert at Jones Beach.
65) Steven Spielberg lives here.
66) When you hear "the end", you only think of Montauk Point. Orient Point never even crosses your mind.
67) When you say that you are going to "the outlets", Tanger is implied.
68) You’ve seen an Albino Deer near the Westhampton Airport.
69) The Culper Spy Ring started in 1778 in Setauket.
70) You have a friend who swears they saw Billy Joel somewhere in Oyster Bay.
71) When people ask "where are you from?" You answer Long Island and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.
72) You run to get a seat on the train leaving Penn, and then you get up and stand by the door 3 stops prior to yours.
73) Your parents bought your School Supplies at either Cheap Johns or Genovese.
74) Last Call is at 3:50AM
75) You know what diners stay open all night long.
76) Theodore Roosevelt lived here.
77) You've walked along the Beach from Robert Moses to Kismet.
78) You've been on both the North and South Shelter Island Ferry's.
79) You know Southampton is EAST of Westhampton and WEST of Easthampton because SOUTH is the Ocean.
80) You've found Cupsogue Park.
81) You've been in a trailer or at the beach at Hither Hills.
82) If you haven't used the Spa at Guerney's, at least you know where Guerney's is.
83) You have "People-watched" at the mall or beach.
84) You've been on a field trip to Atlantis - EVERY FREAKING YEAR from 1st Grade - 6th Grade and you never want to go back.....ever!
85) You know that Brooklyn and Queens is part of Long Island, even though they think they're "the City" and everyone else is "Out on the Island".
86) You've driven from Bridgeport Connecticut to your home faster than it would have taken to sit on line and take the Port Jefferson Ferry.
87) You miss Rumbottom's, and hearing their name on the radio: Low Voice "R-R-R-U-U-MMBOTTOM'S".
88) You Miss Solomon Grundy's Clipper.
89) You Miss Crazy Eddie’s "INNN-SSSAAANNE".
90) You Shopped at TSS, Models & Genovese Drugs long before there were K-Marts, WalMarts & CVS Drugs.
91) You went to “General Admission” concerts at the Commack Arena.
92) You driven on the "Seven Sisters".
93) You have seen empty Billy Blake Stores but may never have seen one open.
94) You remember when 7- 11 opened at 7 and closed at 11.
95) You know someone who went to Longwood High School.
96) You know a jock who went to St. Anthony’s
97) You know how to catch a crab from the docks with a line a flashlight and a crab net.
98) You know what a "Buttered Roll" and a "Breakfast Special" is and get pi**ed when the waitress does not.
99) You know that "Shirley and The Mastics" is not a bar band!!
100) You refer to anywhere west of Riverhead as "Up Island".
101) We look out the winda and sleep on a pilla.
102) You plan all your trips around the traffic on the LIE.
103) What the hell is a "Freeway"?
104) You had to worry about "Son of Sam".
105) You cut out of school, drove 90 miles per hour up River Rd and spent the day at Short Beach or Little Africa.
106) At the bank you stand "on" line, not "in" line.
107) You NEVER EVER EVER EEEVVVVEEERRRR put Mustard on a Hamburger!!!
108) You know where the "BULL" is.
109) We Drink SODA!!! Not POP or COLA!!
110) Asking for Pizza, you just say "I'll have a 'Slice'", or "I'll have a 'slice wit......'"
111) If you ever went fishing on the Great South Bay, no matter what you were trying to catch, You caught at least 3 Sea-Robins and freaked over the legs.
112) You know that Routes 107, 110, 111, & 112 only travel North & South.
113) You know better than to speed in Asharoken. Ever. Not even a couple of miles. You'd probably get a ticket for even THINKING of speeding!
114) Chickens ran around the Maine Maid Inn. Yes, real chickens!!!
115) You fold your pizza before you eat it.
116) Cheddar cheese on pizza? Why? The worst is Pinapple!!!
117) You walk around on a harbor dock and looking out on the water at sunset.
118) You know where the "rocky beaches" are and where the "sandy beaches" are.
119) Your car has a radiator instead of a raydiator.
120) You know someone who (at least claims) to have gone to High School with Billy Joel, Pat Benatar, Lou Reed, Seinfeld, Debbie Gibson, or one of the Baldwins.
121) You know Blue Oyster Cult and Soft White Underbelly were the same band.
122) You called in not out when you were sick.
123) You have or know someone who has drag raced on Deer Park Avenue.
124) You actually do remember "those days hanging out at the village green".
