05/11/2026
Today is Carmen’s birthday!
I read this poem at her funeral. Robert Penn Warren wrote it for his mother, but grief has a way of making the right words feel like they were always meant for you. That closing image, a child lying in the same grass as his mom, the same whippoorwill calling beyond the same dark cedars, it undoes me every time.
She was and is my sister, and we shared that grass once.
I carry her in the bravery of just living on, and in the joyous secret of remembering her in the small ways: A cardinal cutting across the backyard. A song that comes on when I least expect it. The memory of her laugh, and how she always stayed in touch, even as I grew older and life got complicated. She taught me something about blind kindness, about loving people without keeping score, and I find her there too, every time I try to do the same.
Happy birthday, Carmen - I love you forever.❤️