Diane Silverman of Keller Williams NY Realty

05/15/2024

https://dianesilverman.kw.com/property/LST-7174493848469454848-4

01/18/2024

Check out my new listing at The Woods in Ossining:

Celebrate the New Year with a New Home! This is a move-in ready, stylish townhouse in a quiet cul-de-sac with incredible wooded views. It has two bedrooms and a spacious home office and everything has been beautifully updated. The kitchen is both warm and inviting and sleek and modern. The open conc...

11/15/2023

Check out my new listing at Deerfield in Ossining. It's a two bedroom end unit with a den, attached garage and an unfinished basement:

MLS # 6272100 - Move-in ready end unit at Deerfield; new carpeting, freshly painted, updated kitchen and baths. This is a condo that feels like a house. It's an end unit and has lots of privacy. Spa...

10/09/2023

Hi everyone, I've decided not to do videos anymore. It's been over a year, and I simply don't have the time.

But I will continue to send out a weekly joke in written form. They might not always be real estate jokes, but hopefully they will make you laugh. Here's the latest one:

My new sellers were giving me a tour of their house. I opened one door and couldn't figure out what it was. So, I asked them.
The wife said, "I told my husband I needed a pantry and this is what he gave me."

10/02/2023

This real estate market has been so unpredictable that I went to a
fortune teller and I said, “I’m going crazy. I don’t know how to predict this market. I want to know what’s happening.” And by accident I hit her crystal ball and it went crashing to the ground.
It cost me a fortune.

09/25/2023

I’m dealing with a couple right now and we are having the hardest time trying to find a house. The wife is an English teacher and the husband is retired. and he just doesn’t want to deal with this process. Finally she got exasperated and she said,
“Honey, you have to make a decision.” And he said, “Can you change the subject.” And she said, “OK, a decision has to be made by you.”

09/18/2023

I have a house on the market right now and we got a lowball offer.
So I called my client and I set it up by saying, “Just so you know, you can reject any offer you like.” And she said, “Why would I reject an offer I like?”

09/11/2023

One of my clients said to me, “I really like your jokes but why do you laugh
at your own jokes?” And I said, “Well you know what they say: if you want a job done well, you’ve gotta do it yourself!”

09/04/2023

I was showing a house to older clients who really are concerned about getting in and out of the bathtub so they wanted a separate shower stall. I explained that this house didn’t have a shower stall but there was a bar in the tub. The husband said, “Oh good, I can get drunk while I’m taking a bath.”

08/28/2023

I was meeting with new clients and we were about to put their house on the market. One of the questions I always ask is, “what do you like about the house?” And the husband jokingly said, “I like the fact that it’s a 5 minute walk to the local pub…. And it’s a 30 minute walk home.” I was confused and looked at the wife and she said, “the difference is staggering.”

08/21/2023

An agent in my office said that one of her neighbors had just died and she was wondering if she should go to his funeral even though she didn’t know him well. So I said, “There’s a great quote from Yogi Berra. You should always go to other people’s funerals otherwise they won’t come to yours.”

08/14/2023

When a buyer asks, “What’s upstairs?” I want to say, “Stairs don’t talk.” Let me rephrase it and you’ll get it: “What’s up, stairs?” “Stairs don’t talk.”
On to this week’s joke: I brought a client to see an Assisted Living Facility and there was a signthat said, “Discounts will be given to people aged 85 and over, if accompanied by both parents.”