06/02/2025
Somerset West will to need to build its Community in order to grow.
Let's be those selflessly offering our assistance in order to make it great again.
My inspirational person for this week is no other than Lisa Starr.
Thank you for all you do!!!!
“I’ll do it on my own”…
For most of my life, I’ve been THAT one- the epitome of hyperindependence.
Often the result of unreliable caregiving when a child learns that asking for help is risky, or futile, or when their attempts to do so are dismissed, ignored or criticised.
But a few weeks ago, after one morning interaction, I realised just how much healing evidence was held in a simple statement…
There I was at the marina, carefully manoeuvring my kayak toward the water's edge. Each step measured, each movement deliberate - the way I did things for most of my life. Alone. Independent. In control. Then, a passerby’s voice behind me: "Would you like some help with that?"
My typical automatic response jumped into my mind: "Don't worry, I'll manage." But this time, instead of my usual polite decline, I said, "Thanks, that would be fantastic."
It certainly was a much easier entrance into the water than it may have been...
As I paddled across the ocean waves minutes later, the significance of that small exchange washed over me. It wasn’t just a simple moment of accepting help, it was a long stride of recognition of my healing journey.
You see, for most of my life, that fiercely self-reliant girl was the person who painted her own walls, drilled her own holes, gutted entire kitchens solo. The one who would rather struggle with heavy equipment alone than ask for an extra pair of hands.
But what I've learned through years of personal work is that this fierce independence, which I wore like self-preservation armour, was actually keeping me isolated. When we refuse help, we're not just rejecting assistance with a physical task - we're closing the door on connection. Because every "I've got this" becomes a brick in a wall between ourselves and others.
The truth is, (and it’s a hard truth for those of us with hyperindepence tendencies) asking for help isn't a sign of weakness - it's an invitation to let people in. It's offering others the gift of giving, of feeling needed, of being part of our story.
When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to admit we can't (and shouldn't have to) do everything alone, we create space for genuine connection.
We compassionately acknowledge the beautiful give and take that makes us human.
Sometimes the greatest strength lies not in carrying everything by ourselves, but in being brave enough to let others help carry the load - even if it's just a kayak on an early morning at the marina.
Because in the end, it's never really just about the kayak.
With love,
Naomi ❤️
