09/01/2026
If you and the person you’re buying a home with keep walking out of the same houses with completely different opinions, the problem may not be the house.
You may be working from two different lists.
It happens more often than you might think. After months of looking, one person can become the one who’s ready to move forward while the other becomes the one finding reasons not to. Eventually, you’re no longer evaluating each home on the same terms.
Before touring another home, try this separately: each of you write down your top three non negotiables. Don’t compare notes until you’re both finished.
You may discover that one of you is prioritizing the school while the other is focused on the commute. Or that something on your list came from a model home, a friend’s house, or even an idea of what you thought you were supposed to want.
Then take it one step further and ask why each item matters. A formal dining room may really mean having enough space to seat 10 people for the holidays. Once you understand the need behind the item on your list, you may realize there’s more than one way for a home to meet it.
This is Part 4 of our 5 part series on buying a home in Carmel Valley, where we’re looking beyond the typical wish list and sharing some of the conversations we have with buyers as they work through one of the biggest decisions they’ll make together.
Follow us so you don’t miss Part 5. It may be the most important one in this series because we’re talking about when the right advice from your real estate agent is to walk away from a home.
Felicia Lewis
DRE 01872727